nine and a half months

I love watching Brayden learn about this world. He's in this exploration stage where everything is just fascinating to him. The light goes on? Wow. The light goes off? Wow. He can push the light switch with his chubby hand (with help)? Do it again!

Just last night, Erik installed the cupboard locks because Brayden has spent time exploring the cupboards. This morning was funny watching him try to open the cupboard door as he usually did, but it would only go so far. He was like, What happened? It's not supposed to be this way!

I'm starting to gather stories on a regular basis of him problem solving life... like the bananas that he couldn't get off his high chair tray. I put them on a lid, in case that would help him be able to pick up the bananas--and it did, but not in the way I expected. He lifted the whole lid to his mouth and sucked the banana off. Love it!

We've already taken way more digital pictures that you'd ever dream of taking on film. My most recent "task" at home is going back and deleting blurry pictures or those videos you took when you didn't realize the video was on instead of the camera. I have to make room and then we'll save the good pics on CDs or something for the future! Yay!

I'm sure there's plenty more I could say... just a little update for now! I am grateful to God for my wonderful family! :-) 

Mr. Squirmy

Hi there!

I have thought about blogging many times over the past few weeks, but finding time away from my boys at a computer to sit and write about something not work-related isn't that easy! I guess it's just a little low on my priority scale... and that's okay!

Brayden is almost nine months old. Yes, these past nine months have been much cheerier and less stressful than the previous nine months where we were so cautious about life to ensure that Brayden could make it here safely!

He has had his bottom two teeth for a few months and his top two teeth have finally broken through (I feel like he has been "teething" them for months!). He is squirmy, squirmy, squirmy. I lay him down to change his diaper and he immediately rolls his weight to the side and sits up. Pretty funny, but hard to change him! I'm learning to dress him while he is sitting up/rolled over/moving and put his diaper on as fast as possible. Also, any time I smell #2 hiding inside his diaper, the new thing seems to be take him straight to the bath... because if he squirms away from me while he has a non-poopy diaper, that's not as big of a deal as if he squirms away with a naked, poopy bottom.

I know... that's descriptive, but I'm sure many (if not all) of you can relate in some way.

The autumn leaves are beautiful here. I love the colors! And there's this place near my house that has a pathway through the woods and it is all golden leaves. It's literally a sanctuary of gold that I love and try to visit during peak every year. This year, I walked through it with Brayden and Tucker toward the end of the work day and decided that Erik, Brayden, Tucker and I should have an impromptu photo session there right away. Erik got home not too long after that and we changed clothes and headed over there asap!

My hubby dabbles in photography so all the kudos goes to him for setting lighting and all that jazz. The lighting was a little difficult because it was in the woods and the sun was a little lower in the sky. But I'm very happy with the results. I love my family and these photos.

I love, love, love this place!

Mr. B....

... a.k.a. Mr. Squirmy.

The lovely framing job (okay, not so lovely) was compliments of me. :-) oops!

My family!

More Mr. Squirmy... watch the progression of the next few pics!

Love. :-)

three years.

It's been three years.

They are right. Time helps.

They are wrong. Time makes it worse.

In a sense, both of those statements are true. Time helps. I don't ache daily or weekly. I ache occasionally over missing my brother who passed away three years ago today. The ache, though, almost goes deeper as time passes. It's not as urgent or as often, but it's deeper as milestones pass and you miss them and wish they could be there to celebrate. Their laugh is farther removed from your memory, although always ingrained. Their smile is there, but you wish you remember it better.

His thirty years of life seemed young, but somewhat old when I was 28. Now that I'm 31 and Erik is 32, thirty seems oh so young. I can't fathom that I have lived on earth longer than my brother.

National Sibling Day was a week or so ago. I loved all the pics of siblings, but I missed my own.

I had the best time a few weeks ago though. Erik found a public crab apple tree and picked a bunch of apples for us to make homemade applesauce and apple juice, a tradition for both of our families. I even raided my mom's house when she was gone to get her apple masher thing. (She knew about it!) While we were making the applesauce, I watched the heated, mushy apples seep through the sides of the masher and memories came of me mushing it in my parent's house and Brian sitting at the counter and mom heating up more apples.... of Brian eating his applesauce cold and me eating mine hot... I looked at Erik and said, "This brings back such good memories of Brian" and then I smiled. I was so happy. He looked back and said, "Good."

Those are the kind of memories that are extra wonderful: You smile and feel like he's right there.

So three years. So much has happened. Dearest Brian, you are loved like crazy and missed like crazy. You are still thought about so often and we wish you were here with us. Although our family is amazing and doing well, it will never be quite the same without you in it. Your girls are beautiful and remind us of you and I was staring at Brayden once and I could just picture you too... somehow you live on in us... yeah, sounds super cliched and "new age-y" but it makes sense too.

You are loved and missed dearly.

Love, your sis.