my top 5 recommendations for moving!!

We are moving!

No, we're not moving states. We're not even moving cities. We are moving just down the road to a house that better fits our family's current needs. 

We are almost set to move next month, but we have one final hurdle before doing so: the inspection! It's happening tomorrow, which also happens to be the day before Christmas Eve, which brings me to my top five things you should know before you move. 

5. If at all possible, don't put your house on the market during the holidays. (Instead of a Christmas tree or Christmas decor, we've had a clean house for the holidays. Kinda weird!)

4. Make things easier for you whenever possible. (The kids are getting stocking stuffers and a new house for Christmas.)

3. When you prepare to put your house on the market, do NOT pack everything! (Unless you are selling your house after you have moved, you still need things in your house to make the weeks on the market less stressful... ask me how I know!)

2. Go ahead and get that house project done now so you don't have to worry about it when you actually want to sell the house.

1. DO NOT PACK THE CAN OPENER! (We were SO close on this one. Turns out my mother-in-law had graciously helped us get ready to put the house on the market, and when cleaning the kitchen, she put the can opener away in a different drawer... but there was a moment when the whole "the can opener is packed" feeling was upon us, and it wasn't good!)

Anyway, it's nice to be writing a blog again. Perhaps I'll keep on writing. In the meantime, Christmas is almost here! May yours be very merry!

A day at the zoo!!

Yesterday, my parents and I took the boys to the zoo while Erik was at work and getting ready for a weekend fishing trip. The animals were awesome and a vivid reminder that our God is an amazing Creator of this world! Here's a glimpse of the day! (lots of pics to follow!)

Lunch time! (Once B put his hat on backwards, J followed and grandpa couldn't resist the trend!)

 

Goats and the baby animals came next, including the petting area where you get up and close and personal, particularly if they know you have food! 

We saw baby piglets just a few days old!

Next was a highlight... Watching the penguins get fed!!

Beautiful underwater creatures came next!

I thought this one was just a plant in the water... Amazing how it blended in!

Another big moment was the feisty bears!! They put on quite the show! (keep an eye on all three bears... the one on the left is heading to the rock for some extra sun!)

Why hello there, Bear!

And yes, those are striped jammy pants on Jase because I completely forgot to change his diaper until ...well, let's just say it was absolutely necessary! 😳

B and J have loved learning about cheetahs recently so it was fun to have something similar to see! (Leopard!)

This was just a glimpse of what was, all in all, an amazing, fun day! 

happy four years!!!

Four years ago, the love of my life and I and about thirty of my family and friends were here...

... oh you know, just on a beach, getting married. It actually looked more like this.

Within a few months, we added to our clan...

...within a year or two, he looked more like this...

And after that year or two passed, our clan grew...

Now, you won't see that little guy until heaven, but that made room for...

...pregnancy #2, which you know better as...

... or more recently...

It's been a wonderful four years with my growing family. I don't think words can convey how happy I am to have my hubby, sons, and puppy in my life. They just fit me and I love walking through life with them. I'm thankful to the Lord for my wonderful family and most of all for today, happy anniversary to my hubby! Love you so much! Here's to many more years celebrating the love God has given us. 

problems or solutions?

Hi there! I apologize if any of you have been waiting on pins and needles for my next post! ;-) Wifehood, motherhood, working, housework, and napping when I can keep me busy. Plus my laptop is on the fritz.... fun, fun!

So much could be said about Brayden. He's growing fast, as all babies do. It's pretty clear, he has one thing on his mind: moving. He knows he should move forward and he is very intent and moving as quickly as he can figure out how to do it! He's making good progress... so here's for my days being thrown into another "tizzy" when he starts booking it around the house very soon!

Quick non-Brayden story that I've been pondering recently - Erik and I came downstairs one morning a week or so ago and we immediately noticed our sprinklers were on out back. We were like, "What?!?" We live in a townhome, and the sprinklers are on an automatic, nightly schedule. Translated: they don't come on in the mornings.

So pretty much we were both thinking, "Really? Another problem to deal with?"

Ten minutes later, we opened the front door as Erik headed to work. Crouched down at the edge of our driveway looking at something on the ground was a strange man. I was taken back at first, then Erik commented, "Ahhh, that's why the sprinklers were on." 

One of our sprinklers out front had been broken for a few weeks and we had let the association know about it. That happened to be the morning he was fixing it and he had to turn on the sprinklers in order to figure out which sprinkler was broken!

All that to say... I immediately realized that what I saw as a potential problem wasn't a problem at all. It was a solution for a different situation in my life. I just couldn't see it because of my perspective.

Sometimes we choose to have a single perspective in life; other times we are unable to have a different perspective. Our house only has windows on the back side on the first level. That means Erik and I couldn't have seen that someone was working on the sprinklers until we walked out the front door. That's when our perspective changed and we saw the truth of the situation.

So remember that next time you face a problem, perhaps it's actually a solution in disguise!

God is watching over us!

Hi there! Hope you had a good Memorial Day weekend! We enjoyed being with family. Always a blessing! I learned once again that traveling throws off a baby's schedule quite a lot... Brayden didn't really get a good nap in on Saturday or Sunday. Finally by Monday he either gave in to the fact we weren't at home or was that exhausted and slept a good chunk of the day!

Erik and I were extra grateful last night to make it home safely because we drove by a very bad accident that Erik guessed had happened just a few minutes before we passed. That means if I hadn't forgotten what kind of sunflower seeds Erik wanted at the gas station and had to go back and check with him before we decided to go through the drive thru for food or if we hadn't gotten stuck behind a super slow driver, we might have been in it ourselves! Not to mention two other instances of crazy things happening on the road where it could have an accident if Someone up above wasn't watching over us! Thank you, Lord!

In other news, can you do me a favor? I entered a cute photo of Brayden in a photo contest just for kicks. Could you vote for him? You just have to click on the link, vote, and type in numbers to show you aren't a computer. You can do it every day between now and June 3. here is the link... 

http://photos.parents.com/category/vote/photo/1322737 

Thank you! Have a great week!

coloring inside - and out - of the lines

Last night, I went on another "adventure" in the kitchen. I wanted to make a quick bread for Erik to have in the morning for breakfast (and me to eat the sweet goodness of it...). I have a great mix-and-match quick bread recipe from Food Network, which I had most of the ingredients for. I could have made carrot bread, but every time I've made it, Erik hasn't loved it. I wanted him to love it, so I decided to switch it up. I used all the kitchen knowledge I've acquired through Food Network magazine and programming and I branched out in my interpretation of the recipe. Instead of carrots or zucchini or something that the recipe called for, I used up the leftover strawberries in my fridge. I thought... Strawberry bread. Why not?

I couldn't find the nutmeg, so I substituted Chinese five spice, something I've heard chefs on the Food Network use a lot. I don't really know what's in there, but it seemed like something sweeter rather than savory. I also substituted a vanilla yogurt Erik usually has for breakfast in place of the plain yogurt and vanilla extract; in my head, that worked as a substitution. Lastly, I used lime juice and zest in place of all the citrus juice/zest the recipe called for. I considered it a strawberry lime quick bread.


I was so excited to see if my substitutions worked. This time, though, I did something different then every other time I've made this recipe. I was patient. I followed the final directions to a "t." I cooked the bread for the full 55 minutes. I cooled it in the pan for 30 minutes (something I rarely do!). I then put the frosting on it and waited 15 minutes before I finally dug in (again, I never do that!). And yes, that was over an hour and a half of waiting after putting it in the oven! Ack!

It was worth it though. Letting everything cool as they specified set the frosting in place, let it sink in a little, and gave the bread a much more "put together" taste. I could actually cut it and have the frosting stay on top. Previously, I would be so anxious, I would put the frosting on hot bread and eat it right away. It was always a mess as it melted everywhere. This time I did it right and it was worth it.

So that made me think... sometimes, it's appropriate to think outside the box. Be creative. Take liberties. Explore. Figure out if you really can make strawberry bread instead of the normal zucchini bread.

Other times, it's much better to stay inside the lines. I had to let the bread cool and then let the frosting set on the bread. Otherwise, it wouldn't have turned out right. Those rules needed to be followed.

Somehow, my little brain, translates that to a life lesson. Take, for example, dating. I thought I initially was going to marry the first man I dated. I didn't. I had to allow myself to think outside my "box" and be okay with getting to know a few different guys before meeting Erik. On the other hand, I was determined to do it right, stay inside the lines, and obey God when it comes to purity before marriage. Both Erik and I knew our marriage would be much messier if we crossed that line before we said "I do."

And how about job selection? I grew up wanting to be a teacher, but in high school, the Lord pushed me outside of my box and told me to study writing, something I never considered until that point. Now, I find that my writing job is a perfect fit for me!

It's often hard to find that balance between where to explore in life and where to just obey the rules... perhaps the line is, don't be afraid to color outside the lines of your own box or someone else's box for you. We don't always know what is perfect for us, so it's good to be creative and use our God-given imagination.

On the other hand, God does know what's best for each of us, and it's vital that we don't color outside the lines of the box God has provided - the foundation of the Bible. Following the Bible's principles of living will keep your strawberry lime bread coming out perfect every time.

:-)

(If I hadn't been so excited to eat the bread, I might have remembered to take a picture of it to post! Oh well!)


Here's a link to the quick bread recipe in case you ever want to try it!

mommy update!

Hello!

Brayden was ten weeks yesterday. I love him very much, and it's so fun to enjoy each day and the new things each day brings. Lately we've been watching Brayden as his neck strengthens and he can hold his head better and better. He's our "big, strong boy"!

So here are a just a few of the lessons I've learned in motherhood....

1. I love cloth diapers! Erik and I talked about the possibilities last fall, and decided to go with them, especially since I knew two mom-friends of mine who used them and liked them. I think probably the biggest reason we decided to go for it is because we prefer spending cash up front then over a longer period of time. Meaning we'd rather spend money up front for diapers (and along the way hidden in our utility bills for washing) then to keep doling out $20 here and $20 there for diapers when needed. There's probably a debate on which are better, but I have noticed a lot of people using them, and I am happy to be one of them!

In case you're curious, I wound up going with Sunbaby diapers (sunbabydiapers.com). I didn't do a lot of research on brands. I knew someone who used them and liked them and found a few good comments on the quality and the price was right. Right now with him nursing, I just toss dirty diapers into a pail in the laundry room and when it's full, I separate the inside layer from the outside and rinse them on a cold rinse, do a hot/cold cycle with special detergent for cloth diapers (no additives or something like that - I found a list of what works/what doesn't online), and then tumble dry low. Easy, especially since I'm home throughout the day.


2. I love kissing chubby cheeks!

:-)

3. Motherhood is exhausting! When he's fussy, it can be exhausting as your mind is racing trying to figure out what is wrong - and it's especially exhausting when you go through all the regular options and he's still upset. Overall, though, Brayden is an amazing baby with a great temperament. I have learned that when I eat dairy and chocolate and perhaps onions that he'll be extra gassy. So my goal over the past month has been to avoid those things... and it's been hard! Have you ever realized how often cheese is used as a "go-to" food item? Well, at least it is for me. It's pretty funny how I blank on what foods are dairy product. I ate a vanilla blizzard from DQ and was proud for not eating chocolate, and then Erik was like, "Uhh, that's dairy. Aren't you avoiding that?" I was like, "Oh yeah!" Same thing happened with sour cream - I had a baked potato and figured I'd use sour cream to kinda "replace" the cheese and then my mom pointed out that was dairy. Whoops!

All that to say, it's an adventure to keep my eating as dairy-free as possible so I can help keep Brayden's gassiness to a minimum.

4. Motherhood is wonderful. I still can't quite comprehend that I have a wonderful son and he has likes and dislikes and a plan of God on his life. I love figuring it out, watching him grow, and having a little buddy to hang out with me every day.

Have a blessed day!

poopy diapers and God's grace

**Fair warning: poop is discussed in this post, and yes, I am a new mom!**

So my timing for changing poopy diapers is way off. I guarantee that at least three out of every five times I change Brayden's diaper, within seconds of changing him or even right after I get a clean one under him, I hear the lovely "tooting" sound again. I think, "Really?!?"

It's been two weeks (yay for his two-week birthday!) and at least five times I've been through 2-3 diapers in one change thanks to his pooping through the clean one I stick under him (but haven't closed up!). Today was probably the "worst" yet - I changed one diaper and then was cleaning him up and got projectile poop all over. (BTW - this isn't like toddler poop; it's baby, non-formula poop, so it isn't quite as nasty as it would be after he starts on solid foods.)

After throwing in load #54 of laundry (okay, maybe not quite that many), I grabbed some ice cream and got ready for the day (the ice cream came from the nap I wished I had, but Brayden wasn't taking because of said poopy diaper). While eating the amazing chocolate mint ice cream Erik picked up a few days ago, I looked over at Brayden and thought about what just happened and had a revelatory moment. Perhaps one reason God gives us babies is because they keep us humble. Right when we think we have it all figured out (changing a poopy diaper should be easy enough, right?) our babies go and change it up on us. They'll poop through that third diaper, create the 14th load of laundry, or change our sleep schedule unexpectedly. They're not necessarily the boss of you, but they do show you that you don't know everything.

This whole pregnancy thing has been humbling for me as well: asking for and accepting help from anyone and everyone, not being able to proactively clean my own house, not being able to take care of my own family (I was taking care of my family; I just was taking care of an unborn baby from the couch, which doesn't feel like much!), etc. It was hard! And it looks like the humility lessons will simply continue.

James 4:6 says that God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble. Maybe that's one reason why we have babies: so we can be humbled by the poop under our fingernails, the moments we forget our words, and the topsy-turvy schedules and ultimately receive God's grace to live instead of living life on our own.

So today, I'm asking God for grace, His undeserved favor, and His abundant strength to live.

Brayden's praying the prayer too....

:-)

newborns need a warning label

Future first-time parents... this is for you.

The first 2-3 nights with Brayden were overwhelming for me and Erik, to say the least. So to future parents, here's something I think may help you so if/when you have a kid, you'll know you are not alone.

1. In the first night, day, two, or both, you will question your sanity in thinking a child was a good thing.

2. You may even question God's sanity in bringing babies to children without an instruction manual... and letting sleep-deprived parents make decisions for someone else's life. (I will never forget that moment in the hospital when I had a talk with God about this.)

3. Your marriage will be tested. Wives - whether or not you like it, your life will be full on mother for a while, since you are needed for feedings, especially if you are nursing. Husbands - your wife will not be your own for a while. You'll need to share. (Sorry!) From all that I can tell, this is a season because they tell me babies do wind up sleeping through the night and stop eating every 2-4 hours. That means more time to be both a mom and a wife and not just a mom.

4. You will not think straight. Overall, I've got my head screwed on pretty straight. I know what's happening around me and how people respond to me and think clearly, etc. Then I had Brayden, and seriously, I couldn't think straight or remember or say things quite right. I looked over at Erik one time riding back to the house and said, "I'm not making sense, am I?" He said, "Nope." Oh well.

5. Sleep. You will miss it. But there is grace for this season. Of all people, I need sleep more than most. If you know me well, you know I don't function well on lack of sleep. So this is a tough one, but I've had moments where I've literally felt the grace to wake up every 2-4 hours and feed him and I adore two hours straight of sleep and consider that an amazing thing (when just a couple weeks ago that would have been barely enough!).

6. You will be frustrated. This is common when it's 4 a.m., you've changed your baby's diaper, fed them, made sure he's warm enough, and done everything you know to do, and he's still red in the face from screaming, trying to get some type of point across. I don't really know how to answer "what to do" on this yet, since I'm still learning, but take a deep breath and/or cry out for help from the Lord! Hold your baby and trust that as parents you have the grace and wisdom to comfort your baby as needed.

So, new parents and parents-to-be, if you've had any of these thoughts or frustrations, you are not alone. A bunch of parents I've talked to smile when I tell them my experiences and feelings and then they remember they too had the "What have I done?!" moment with their first babies... you just don't always hear about it.

You're not alone; pretty much everyone has probably had the same types of thoughts as you. Remember, this too shall pass. :-)

As for us, we are getting slowly adjusted to life with a baby. Our family and friends continue to be amazing to us. (Thank you!) And we are once again reminded of the value of community. Community is how the moms and dads survived who didn't have nurses to ask questions to. Community is how parents survived who couldn't read or watch YouTube videos or read other people's blogs. So I'm learning again to learn from others because they've been there and done that and have great ideas that will help make my life easier. 

our cake adventure

Happy last weekend in June... CRAZY! As people have been saying for years, "Time flies!"

This weekend was super nice. We spent it in Erik's hometown celebrating Erik's grandma's 80th birthday. The party was on Sunday and it was a huge success!

I'm not 100% sure where the idea for this began, but Erik and I decided a while ago that our birthday present to Grandma would be to make her a birthday cake--not just any birthday cake, but a big, tiered cake.

We did a test cake to try a few of the recipes a week or so prior to this weekend and then we bought all the ingredients, brought them home to his parents with us, and spent Friday, Saturday, and Sunday morning making a three-tiered, completely homemade topsy-turvy birthday cake! It was a lot of work, but a lot of fun!

Here are a few pics...

Some of the cakes... each layer was four tiers so that we could make it topsy/turvy looking. The cake recipes were really good!!!

Here's the chocolate cake... you can see the white buttercream on each layer, but that was just to hold in a homemade raspberry filling that I would love to eat by the spoonful!

Here's the white cake with buttercream frosting. Erik's cutting out the top so we can make a spot to put the next layer in it.

Here's the final product! That's marshmallow fondant on there. There's a buttercream "crumb coat" underneath the fondant. The bottom layer is chocolate. The top two are white. Kudos to Erik for really driving the design. He did awesome!

We've watched enough cake shows and challenges on Food Network and other stations... it was time for us to try it ourselves! We had a ton of fun and everyone liked how it tasted and looked. Who knows when we'll just decide to make our next one... actually, ideas are already in the works. :-)

All that to say... if you ever want to do something fun, just do it! Don't let impossibilities or the whole "that's crazy" factor stop you. Take dance lessons, make a huge cake, or paint a masterpiece, all because you can. :-)

first time fishing for the season

So my post about this is a little delayed since it's from a few weeks ago, but here are a few pics from my first fishing outing of the season.

I like the first pic because it's a glimpse of the beauty and serenity that I get to be a part of every time I go fishing.

The next pic is my view. :-) I'm in the back fishing and Erik's up front. I am very glad he's introduced me to fishing. It's a fun thing to do.

Since it was my first outing of the spring, I/we decided to bring Tucker so he didn't have to stay at home and be sad and then be crazy when we came home since he'd have all that energy from being home alone.

I quickly remembered why he usually stays home from fishing trips... he whines some since he'd much prefer being off the leash, jumping in the lake, fishing on his own, smelling everything, etc. Thankfully, he was much better than he was the previous year we took him. He started to show some maturity and didn't whine the whole time... just a little bit. :-) (Oh and he's not quite old enough or "mature" enough to be off the leash. One day I'm sure.)


We'll have many more fishing adventures to come! What's your sport/hobby for the spring and summer? :-)

"thrift" sales

Two posts in one day... not normal for me, but I am super stoked about what I did last Saturday!

My mom-in-law and sis-in-law and I hit a city-wide thrift sale (aka garage sale!) Saturday morning. We all walked away with something and at least one item from each garage sale (except the odd sale in a basement...).

I'm pretty happy with all my purchases, which included some jeans and a shirt, but here are my two favorite (and cheapest!).

My hubby is a huge Favre/Packers fan, so even though it isn't a current jersey, I will gladly dress my future boys/girls in this onesie! (for fifty cents, I couldn't resist!!!)

My other purchase has to be attributed to watching American Pickers... hunting for the old, unique item in the middle of a bunch of junk. I kept my eye out for that right sheen and odd piece amongst all the random dishes, books, and kitchen appliances. Here's what I found... 

It's an old food chopper, and I absolutely love the look of it. It didn't have a sticker on it, so you can imagine my excitement when they told me it was twenty-five cents. I walked away from that sale floating with the thrill of the find. :-) I did buy it with the intent of displaying it... so I was absolutely thrilled when it fit exactly where I wanted it to and looked even better than I expected. Here's a glimpse of where it is at now...

Safely above the kitchen cabinets providing a hint of old and the wonder of the find. :-)

Okay, all for now, I hope you have a wonderful day!

dead sea scrolls

Erik and I just visited the Dead Sea Scrolls exhibit at the Science Museum that was pretty cool to see. In addition to lots of history and information about the people and places surrounding the scrolls, we saw five portions of the scrolls themselves. Pretty sweet! Oh and a virtual tour of the temple.

It makes me think about Scripture and how amazing it is that the Bible came to be the 66 books it is today. Multiple other books exist that were written around that same time, yet God led people to group together a specific few. Pretty cool.

God's Scriptures are amazing. They've been speaking to people for generations and will continue to speak for generations to come. They speak truth. They speak light. They speak intrigue and mysteries. They solve mysteries. The beauty of the Word is that we can't fully understand it, but God sheds light into our hearts the meaning behind the words every time we read it and open our heart to Him.


By the way, if you haven't yet seen the exhibit, here's a link to a coupon. You go through the exhibit at your own pace. I'd suggest estimating two hours at least. http://www.smm.org/scrolls/offers/

Enjoy discovering God's Word. :)

the making of an outdoorswoman

My 90-year-old grandpa told me yesterday that I should write a book about my outdoor adventures with Erik, partially because he is amazed by the fact that Laura Baker, a prim and proper young lady, has become Laura Wegener, a still prim and proper young lady, who occasionally catches a ten-pound catfish when fishing with her husband.

Yes, yes, it's true. I caught the biggest fish this past Saturday when I was casually (and I mean casually) casting into the river we were on and my fishing pole suddenly bent in half.

"Uh Erik, uhh help????" I dug the rod into my stomach and tried reeling it in, but the fish was swimming away with the hook! Erik gave me pointers on how to pull it in, but after a minute or two, I knew I couldn't do it on my own. I passed it to Erik who worked for another 2-3 minutes pulling it in, all the while trying to figure out what I had caught. It was fun to watch! And yes, I did a few happy dances while watching Erik and our friend John bring in my ten-pound fish!

If you had asked most people who knew me when I was younger, most of them wouldn't have pegged me for a fisherwoman who is generally okay with taking fish off the hook and putting bait back on. Little did everyone know, I have always had a hidden desire for adventure, an appreciation for the outdoors, and a desire to do (or at least try to do!) the things people would least expect me to do. :)

I have grown to love fishing and camping, two big hobbies of my husband, and I don't love them because he loves them. I love them because I love them. There's something so wonderful and relaxing about being outdoors, right in the middle of everything God made. Plus I love having meat in the freezer from Erik's various hunting and fishing endeavors, and thankfully, I enjoy eating it all too.

Oh, there's so much more I could say, but I'll save it for another time. Blessings on your day!

me in a movie?

So I had a super interesting day yesterday. I decided to take my office mobile and go to the set of a movie filming in Minneapolis (near the MOA) and be a movie extra! I've always been interested in the "behind-the-scenes" aspect of pretty much anything related to movies, music, TV, theater... not sure why, I simply find it fascinating.

I heard about a movie that was filming with some relatively well-known actors and that they were looking for extras. I figured, hey! I've always wanted to see what a movie set looks like, so why not go? And it was a loooooooong day, but I was super glad I did it and had a bunch of fun being there. :) They prepared us for a long day of "hurry up and wait" and it was exactly that, but it was worth it to be able to go to "hair and make-up" and go to "wardrobe" (they didn't start from scratch, just improved what you already had!) and watch the production assistants run around dealing with the changes that were constantly coming from the movie set.

We (the extras) got to peek in on one scene while we were eating (it was filming down the hall from where we were) and then I was a part of the banquet scene. They warn you that you probably won't make it on camera and if you do, it may eventually get cut, so don't plan on it happening. I was probably off camera and won't be in the scene, but it was a blast to be a part of it. :)

Oh and I don't know much about the movie; it's about a guy hunting for a rare violin or something like that. The part I was in was in a hotel. Since I'm pretty careful about the movies I see, I may not even go see it when it does come out! But if I do see it, I'll be able to say, "I talked to that girl" or "I remember her!" or "He sat at my table!"

On a completely different note, Erik is going in for surgery on March 31st. It's a low-risk heart surgery called an ablation where they will go in an burn the ends of some of the veins that are going into the top of his heart. That will cause the electrical currents to stop coming through them and tripping his heart into an irregular heartbeat. It will be a morning surgery, he'll be in the hospital overnight, and recovery will happen over the next few days. It will take a couple months for his heart to fully feel the effects of the surgery, but his body will recover quickly. He'll be back to work that Monday. (the surgery is on a Wed)

Ideally, this will completely stop the irregular heartbeats he sometimes get and it will stop his stress that he'll go into an irregular heartbeat... and who knows what else it will solve! I'd appreciate prayers for Erik and I to have peace as we walk through this and hope that this will be the solution to the variety of health problems he's been facing. And if it doesn't quite naturally solve everything, that it will bite off a good chunk of them and bring Erik the hope of "a light at the end of the tunnel." It's going to be a good thing. Oh and he said I'll be posting facebook updates throughout the day on his facebook so you'll probably be hearing from me throughout the day. Especially since I'll get to wait for four plus hours as the surgery gets done... I'll have some time to do something. My parents will be there and Erik's family as well.

I "discovered" a few interesting things recently: first of all, I don't want to ever use Brian as a crutch for how I live my life-particularly as time goes on. For example, three years down the road, I don't want to be saying, "Well, I can't do that because my brother died" or "You should feel sorry for me because my brother died." I'm glad I realized that now because I can make a point to keep healing and working through the various thoughts I have regarding that.

My second thought I discovered: the biggest healing right now for me (and maybe other people in my family? I'm not sure) is learning how to trust prayer again. I know the right answer of course, but after seeing so much prayer go up for Brian and not seeing them get answered like we thought they should, it's hard to understand. I don't have the answer and I know no one does. All I can do is ask for God's help in restoring my mental trust in the whole process of prayer. I'm pretty sure my heart trust is there, but my mind is speaking pretty loudly about it. It will come, I know, but that's a hurdle right now.

For some reason, it helps to "confess" that or simply write about it. It's really a God-thing that right now the song "Healer" is playing in the background.... :-) Heh heh just a reminder that God is amazing.

Well, dinner's on the grill, Erik's figuring out stuff for the first wedding he's performing (yay!!), and Tuck is getting some shut-eye. Love and hugs~ thanks for your support. :-)