preterm labor, a praise report, and prayer request

I hope you all had a nice Thanksgiving! There's something special to me about the day where you just get to be together with family and enjoy a nice big meal. :-) And then be all stuffed together and lay around the house... lol!

Our Thanksgiving was nice. I received doctor's permission to travel a couple hours to see Erik's family, and it was great to see them. What wasn't so great was the night after. I woke up around 1 p.m. and had a lot more contractions than normal. I was trying to figure out what was going on and what to do about it for the next few hours. I was able to fall asleep for another hour before waking up again. At that point, I was concerned enough to contact the doctor and figure out what was causing these consistent contractions.

I called my doc and since I was out of town, she set it up for me to head into the nearest hospital where they had a maternity ward and could monitor me. Sure enough, I had contractions (probably 5 minutes or so apart? I don't even remember... it was too many!) and not necessarily a reason for them. I got some meds to calm them down and that helped. Then they measured my cervix to see if I was near delivery or far away, so they could know their next plan of action - and yes, part of that plan of action would be to transport me to the cities to deliver that day if needed! So glad that didn't happen, yikes!

Here's where the praise report is: it turns out that my cervix is long and strong and my cerclage (stitch) is holding as it needs to. In fact, a lot of women with normal pregnancies at this stage in the game would potentially have a shorter cervix than me just based on the natural progression of pregnancy!

I thought about it after the fact and realized that since my surgery I've been stating, "I have a strong cervix and a strong cerclage." And sure enough, it's true! Thank you, Lord. I still stand on that truth, even as I've had contractions throughout the day, as I want to have a healthy baby come in January or at the earliest, late December.

The tricky part is my pregnancy now no longer fits the "norm" so I need God's wisdom in knowing how to respond to what my body tells me (contractions, etc.) and knowing if or when it would be important to get doctor's help. So, yes, I will keep laying low over this next month, especially as I figure out what my body is doing.

Now, as if this wasn't enough to deal with, we have finally come to a crossing point with Erik's health issues. Some of you may know that he's been dealing with a lot of different things health-wise for the past 6-7 years. We've dealt with it in different ways - from the ablation/heart surgery that was successful in 2010 to specialist doctors to chiropractor visits to a visit at Mayo Clinic this past September. It's been exhausting and hard to know which path to follow; all we knew to do was keep praying and follow what seemed best at the time, trusting that the Lord was behind the directions and thoughts we were having.

All of that, though, still didn't seem to fully address the issue. Erik's symptoms continued and even worsened. A lot has happened in the past three months--including a few hospital visits and an irregular heartbeat, which Erik hasn't experienced for three years--and Erik has really faced his most difficult health situations. It's been no fun watching him go through this. :(

The good news is, we've found the answer that we are hoping and praying will be the final push to getting Erik healthy. A recommendation from a family member brought us to a doctor near Erik's home town that confidently diagnosed what he is dealing with as multiple types of Lyme's disease. The doctor has a plan to get Erik healthy again, which is amazing! (and I really think this is the first time we've had such a confident answer and plan - I'm very grateful!)

Right now, because of the condition his body is in, he has had to stop working.  (A huge shout out to his company for letting him go on medical leave! They have been a huge blessing to us through this.) The heart concerns, shortness of breath, and dizziness he has been experiencing was interfering with his ability to work. (He didn't even go hunting this year!) He has been on tonics from the doctor during this time period, and we are believing that they will address the bacterial issues he is facing and ultimately help address the heart issues and other symptoms he has experienced for years.

The doctor said that Erik should be feeling somewhat better by Christmas and within six months he'll be feeling better than he has in years. I'm hopeful that this is the end of this health journey so Erik can finally feel better again and be back to himself!

I know we have a journey between now and then. If you think of us, could you please say a prayer for grace and strength for each one of us physically, mentally, and spiritually, as we walk through this next month, in particular, and then beyond as Erik's health continues to strengthen? Thanks.

That would be amazing.

And you know what? You'll probably see us much more often around once we get through this final push to health victory! Praise God. He will get the glory through all this and the devil will pay!

pregnancy update

Hi there!

As you can see, I wasn't joking. There is officially a baby in my tummy! Crazy! :-) S/he is kicking and rolling around and making his/her presence known... and yes, I am super excited we don't know what we are having! Something about not knowing until we meet the little kid makes me so happy. Yay!

25 weeks

This pregnancy is going the best out of all of them. I'm farther along than previously with no scares or concerns. This tells me two things: I have a better idea of what I can and can't do and I'm not as nervous this time around. I know in the back of my head that I did it before and I can do it again. I also have a much better picture of the end result. That propels me forward.

Don't get me wrong. This is still hard. It takes a crazy amount of guts and strength to do this again and both Erik and I have been like, Ahhhh, why are we putting ourselves through this again! Thankfully, though, this time, we remember and are still creating moments with Brayden that tucks the six months of limited activity and bedrest during his pregnancy in the far corners of our minds where they are almost unreachable. We know the same will eventually happen with number next.

During Bray's pregnancy, I had a week where I was doing limited amounts of things each day, but I did something out of the house every day. That created a minor scare that made me buckle down on bedrest so Brayden wouldn't come too early. This time, I am not repeating that. Although I have let myself go out of the house a couple times each week (with my doc's approval), I make sure I spend the next few days down doing nothing and when I'm out, I'm purposefully not walking long distances. And if my body tells me to rest or drink water or not stress or whatever, I try to comply. So the plan is that you will see me out and about to a limited degree until January when number next makes an appearance!

I have to give a shout out to all who have helped us and continue to help us! We have been extraordinarily blessed with family and friends who step up to the plate when we need help, and for that I am extremely grateful. And if you haven't yet helped but want to, you are probably on my list of people to call if I need anything--and trust me, having that list and knowing I can call you is a blessing I can't explain!

Bray and Erik have been troopers through all this. Erik is the lucky one because he gets to put Bray to bed every night and I think they have a male bonding thing going on now! I do my best to play with Bray on the floor or have him snuggle next to me and watch VeggieTales or have him crawl into his highchair and color with me. Creativity is key when your activity is limited!

One of his latest toys is the address label stickers that come from various companies in our junk mail. He loves sticking them on the sofa, on his shirt, on the chair, and then moving them some place else. I love watching his mind at work as he decided what he wants to do!

Well, that's about all for now. Thanks for your prayers. Number next will be here in 3-3.5 months! Yippee!

Brayden update - 19.5 months

Wow. I thought I'd be blogging a lot more, like I did last time during my pregnancy, but this is a completely different season of life! This time I have a little munchkin around who would love to watch VeggieTales on my computer any time he sees me on it! That means my time on the computer is limited... and when I do have it open, I am working!

Yesterday was my birthday and it was filled with special memories including Brayden taking his nap next to me on the couch.

Awwwww! Love it! And I think that's graham cracker or peanut butter on his cheek...

Then I saw this pic on my phone from just a few months after he was born.

He's changed a lot, yet he still has his look... similar pics yet different, you know? You probably know that from your family and maybe even your own pictures how much looks changes... and yet still stay the same over time!

We also made fun birthday memories earlier this week at Red Robin. Erik and I share the same birthday month so we both get free burgers when we eat at Red Robin. It's one of my favorite meals that I walk out feeling extra full from... awesome burger, unlimited fries, onion rings, and freckled (strawberry) lemonade. Oh, and a birthday sundae, if you dare to leave room for that.

I asked for a Red Robin balloon for Brayden on the way out. Brayden was pretty intrigued by it until the RR employee put it on his wrist (so he wouldn't lose it). He started to cry! Very upset, although we couldn't figure out why. I held it until we got in the car. Once he was in his carseat, I passed it back to him, and then he realized the wonders of this thing called a balloon... you can bat it, shake it, play with it... he loved it then! Erik held onto it with Brayden while we walked indoors so we didn't have a lose-your-balloon-to-the-sky episode. Then Brayden walked around proudly with it inside. He was upset when it floated to the ceiling a few times, but Erik rescued it.

Brayden was pretty stumped in the morning though when the balloon was no longer in the air and would not float above him, but only dragged on the floor behind him. Once he got over the intrigue of the situation, he walked around with it proudly trailing behind him.

Love that boy. So much fun to watch him discover things!

He doesn't like when he doesn't get things he wants...

He also has a new squinty-eyed smile that is adorable...

All for now! Have a great Labor Day weekend!

P.s. I'm just a couple days away from halfway through this pregnancy. All is going well. Doc appointment this week to take a peek at baby, although we're going to keep the surprise of boy/girl until January. Excited!

parenting, the speed of time, and Cheaper by the Dozen 2

Yes, I just teared up watching Cheaper by the Dozen 2... and yes, I decided I may keep it around on our DVR for the next six months just in case I need to be reminded of what's coming in January. (The oldest daughter has her baby boy at the end!)

It made me tear up for a lot of different reasons, probably mainly the pregnancy hormones... but I really like the picture of a family it presents. You can't over-parent or your kid will go bonkers, but you love and cherish every moment and let go as they grow older. And I know Brayden is only 1 1/2, but I know how quickly 1 1/2 came... and how time continues to tick by. I just want to enjoy the moments and love my family with everything I have.

I also love that two mom-and-dad homes are prominent in the movie, one of which the marriage has lasted probably 20-30 years and they are still in love with each other. The morals, although still "American," are so much better than what is presented in today's movies. It makes me think it's almost "classic." I know... a movie from ten years ago, classic? Definitely not in the sense of 1950's classic, but there's something about the family morals and values presented that I desperately wish was still presented in media today. A mom and dad... kids who are just kids... humor that isn't bathroom humor or crass... just good, old-fashioned entertainment.

Anyhoo, this wasn't meant to be a post all about media. I'm pondering this whole time-going-by and parenting thing as I watch Brayden get to know our nanny who is helping out while I can't lift him. He already loves her and has developed a relationship with her, and it's a little weird to watch. I can say (as many mommy t-shirts probably say), I will always be his first love. We share a bond that no one else can have... and he will develop different "bonds" with different people.

It makes me think back to the special place in my heart that all the kids I babysat I have... particular the neighborhood families I took care of. I still love those children like they were my own. It makes me realize it's okay to share Brayden.

Now, it might sound silly to write all this down, but as a blogger, I "tip my hand" a little just in case sharing what I feel helps someone else.

I get to share Brayden a lot during this time of bedrest... and some days that's hard, some days that isn't. Brayden has plenty of love and smiles to go around, so I always know I can have special time with him, even if I can't carry him upstairs or lift him into his crib or car seat. I will get to do all that again in six months. Yes, he will be older and it stinks that I'm missing out on putting him to bed for so long, but that has to be okay. I'm learning to enjoy this time with him in a different way.

I think I'm sitting back and watching him more.... He's grown so much in the past month... he's learning life like crazy. I just look at him and think, "He's not a baby any more. He's a little boy!"

I'm looking forward to the future. As I watched the movie tonight, I just thought, I love my family... all six of us... Erik, me, Brody, Brayden, Tucker, and baby number next.

This is exactly the place I want to be.

accessing God's place of safety

So I'm a few days into my journey of patience until baby #3 and I'm already remembering the difficulties and finding new ones. I'm sure I'll expound on them soon, but overall, I'm doing well and taking it one day at a time.

I read this verse last night and have been pondering it.

Fearing people is a dangerous trap, but trusting the Lord means safety. (Pr. 29:25)

I looked up these words in blueletterbible.com and found out that word safety means to be high or in an inaccessible city. The root word is sometimes translated as exalted. To me, that means when you trust God, you are lifted above what you are facing to an inaccessible place of safety. You look down and watch God take care of the situations you see with your eyes. In such a high place, you don't actually deal with it; you let God deal with it.

It's interesting that comes right after fearing people. The Message Bible puts it this way: "The fear of human opinion disables; trusting in God protects you from that." 

I often find myself looking to man's opinion and making sure that they approve of what I do to help me know I'm on the right track, but that isn't always good. I think it has its place, but it cannot be the compass by which you dictate your life. Trusting in God takes you beyond needing man's approval. You're in that high city where God is ruler and you're trusting Him to help you make it through each day.

I like that. :-)

number three is on the way!

It's crazy to believe I'm in the middle of my third pregnancy! Baby number three is coming January 20, 2014. Yippeee!!! We are absolutely thrilled.

For those of you who don't know, we only have one baby here on earth (Brayden), but we have one (our first) hanging out in heaven (Brody) So by the natural eye, it's baby number two, but really, it's baby number three. And when I still look at Brayden, he's not my oldest. He's my middle child. :-) I like feeling that because that means Brody hasn't left my heart, but will always be a part of the family. I do have to sometimes remember, though, that for all Brayden knows and acts like right now, he is an only child! We've told him about Brody and baby 3, but that doesn't change that he's used to all the attention!

It's kinda fun... Brayden was due on January 23 and Baby 3 is due January 20. That means they'll be pretty much exactly two years apart. Brayden came on January 11... we'll see when Baby 3 makes his/her appearance. Could be the exact same day! Wouldn't that be crazy! 

This time around, I think we are going to wait to find out if we're having a boy or girl. We desperately wanted a boy as our oldest, and we got doubly blessed with our two boys... but as to another boy or girl, I don't know that we have a preference, so why not wait for the surprise? Fun! 

Now, because of what happened with Brody (you can read that story here), the day after the 4th, I had the same procedure (cerclage) done I did with Brayden. Basically, baby got stitched in to help him/her stay put until January. That means I will be on "light activity/bedrest" through January. Why? The reason Brody came early was the pressure he put on my cervix and my cervix couldn't handle it. The stitch helps, but the less pressure I put on it with activity (and the growing baby) the better for keeping baby safe and snug inside. 

Last time we weren't one hundred percent sure I'd need the surgery, so it snuck up on us and we also had a lot of bad memories associated with pregnancy ending badly. This time, we were prepared in advance for knowing I'd be out of commission for doing much plus we have a picture of the reward we will have in our arms when this journey is through! We also hired a nanny who will help with Brayden throughout the week, and Erik and my family and friends will all be pitching in to help cover other times. (I can't lift Brayden at all... bummer!) I've also been able to mentally prepared with making the most of my pre-surgery time. All of this is verrrry good, even though a little intimidating to have six months of low activity staring you in the face! 

There's a good chance I'll be blogging more since I'll be hanging out on the sofa much, so you'll probably be hearing from me more often as I journey through this... and then once baby comes, I probably won't be on here as much! Funny how that works....

Now a side note... I've had a few questions (and have asked them myself) about if I would have to go through bedrest again... and I've thought, "Couldn't I pray and believe God for healing and a different path this time?" Yes, I certainly could, but a couple factors play into our decision to go ahead with the same path as last time. First, I would have to beg and plead and have an extremely good reason to decline surgery for my doctor to approve it... and I still don't think she would! She wants us to have a healthy baby too! The cerclage helps make that possible. Second, I know that prayers for healing need to have faith behind it... and not that I couldn't have faith, but as a hormonal, pregnant mom who has lost her first son through pregnancy just by being pregnant and living life... it's not a "faith battle" that I want to fight on a daily basis. I'd rather have the proactive safety of my doctor's help through surgery and laying low. And I'm okay with that!

So there's my story! Another chapter is being written, and we are excited for the future.

thank you

My brain seems to be on overdrive.

Balancing motherhood, wifeyhood, and Christianhood is a monumental task! So many things run through my brain everyday - some of which I ignore until I can handle them better and others of which I have to keep remembering until I do it.

Today I just want to thank so many of you over and over for what you've done for me and my family. You have supported us by doing any one or more of these things:

a. blessing us with gifts for Brayden
b. letting us borrow things for Brayden
c. passing on baby things you don't need anymore
d. sending cards to say congratulations
e. blessing us monetarily
f. bringing us meals
g. running errands for us
h. watching Brayden while I run errands or work around the house
i. listen to me process, vent, talk
j. making sure I take time for myself
k. making sure Erik takes time for himself

That list might cover it. Then again, there's probably a ton more - including all your prayers. You've done so much for us that I honestly don't know how best to say thank you. As Brayden uses and wears and plays with the things you've passed on, I want to tell you again how blessed we are. As the money you've given multiplies in the bank or gets spent on a needed item, I want to tell you thanks and how awesome it is. As I look at how cute something is that you've given me (for example, the monkey changing pad cover on the left - I love it!), I often want to tell you again I'm thankful.

You'd probably get annoyed with how much I would tell you I'm grateful, blessed, and honored that you'd think of us and help take care of us during this time.

Family, friends, acquaintances... really just loving kind people... are what make this world a better, easier, more blessed place to live in.

So thanks. I'm grateful for you.

my pregnancy story continues

I'm learning more and more that everyone has a story in life. Everyone has difficulties and things they will face that make up their story. Some stories are complicated and start early on. Some complications don't wrinkle stories until later on in life.

The crazy thing is that you will always (repeat: always!) be able to find a story that is "worse" than yours and one that is "better" than yours. The solution, I'm finding, is to take your story and make do with it the best you can. Don't compare your highs and lows to other people; just keep trucking along to live out the story that is your life. God knows your story; He knows other people's stories and He knows why you got the story you did and someone else got a different story.

I never realized how many different pregnancy stories there could be. Some people's story is infertility. Other people's story is miscarriages. Others yet, the baby doesn't make it inside the womb. Other yet, the mother's body doesn't carry to full-term all that well.

Each of these types of stories have victories and tragedies at the end. From adoption to full-term babies to miracle preterm births to who knows what else, happy endings are always a possibility. Unfortunately, the happy endings often start with heartbreak.

For me, the first pregnancy was great, and we didn't know there was a problem until too late. During this second pregnancy, we are aware my body is the one that has potential problems in going full-term. As a result, we've been able to take precautionary measures that have kept baby in until 34 weeks and 4 days--and counting!

It hasn't been easy. On Monday I went in with preterm labor, although I wasn't sure if it was a false alarm or what was going on. Thankfully, I did go in and they could stop the labor. They also gave baby a steroid that helps stabilize and build his lungs even quicker, in case he would come early. (Thank you, Lord, for all these technological advancements!)

Last night I ended up back in the hospital with questionable things going on. Turns out I got a huge infection common to pregnancy that somehow popped up between Monday and Thursday. I'm on an antibiotic now, and doing my best to rest well!

All that to say, baby and I are well. I'm tired. Baby's active, and we're both still truckin' to the finish line. Soon I'll be posting with pictures of our baby! I can't even fathom it. I'm sure I'll be crying many times in the future over my gratefulness.

today's top 5 (12/9/11)

1. 33 weeks 4 days, baby is still cooking! The countdown continues... three days until I'm 34 weeks along, two and a half weeks until the cerclage comes out, after which baby will be free to come when he wants. We're hoping for 38-40 weeks, which is four and a half to six and a half weeks away. Wow! I'm so grateful I'm this far along and baby is healthy. I'm glad I'm healthy and we only have a few more weeks of waiting. Thank you, Lord, for bringing me this far and that you'll continue to bring me and baby all the way to full-term!

2. Podcasts. Yesterday and today I listened to the same podcast message from Pastor John Hagee. It encourages me and reminds me that God is on my side. No matter what circumstances look like, God is stable and faithful and will bring about His deliverance and freedom in the end. A couple quotes I liked (I could literally copy down the first five minutes it was so encouraging!):
"Never rewrite your theology to accommodate a tragedy going on in your life."
"Fit your situation to the Bible and press forward to the destiny God has for you."

3. Friends. Okay this one often makes it on my top 5 list just because every time I see my friends, I'm grateful for them. :-) They make me smile and laugh; they give me a place to share my thoughts, and they take care of me. Thank you to my wonderful friends for being such a light and encouraging part of my life!

4. Laughter. So a week or so ago I was telling Erik something and starting laughing pretty hard at my story and Erik looked at me and said something like, "You've been cooped up way too long." Since then I realized that I've been laughing perhaps a little too hard at my own jokes! I think I've been holed up on the sofa so long just dealing with the regular ins and outs of our house life as well as a heightened sensitivity to this pregnancy... all that to say, I haven't been out much with people and I fully take advantage of any opportunity to laugh and sometimes it might be harder than the joke warrants, but laughter is wonderful and makes me feel good. :-)

5. Food! LOL... I just had an amazing piece of garlic bread (compliments of a wonderful friend who brought over dinner) and I love enjoying wonderful bits of goodness like that!

I guess I have a #6 today... it's Friday and that means we're heading into another weekend! Which means at the end of the weekend I'll be 34 weeks along... every single day and moment counts for my baby!

Have a wonderful weekend!

today's top 5 (11/24) Thanksgiving edition!

Today's top 5... okay, top 6 

1. Thanksgiving meals. I love the blend of Thanksgiving dinner on my fork. If I can cram a little turkey, mashed potatoes, gravy, cranberries, stuffing, and maybe even green beans onto my fork all at once (or any combination of the above), I'm a happy girl. 

2. Thanksgiving while being pregnant. We celebrated Thanksgiving with my family on Sunday, so we've already enjoyed one Thanksgiving meal, and for the first time probably ever, I wasn't completely stuffed after eating a full plate of Thanksgiving food! I was shocked, but grateful for pregnancy. Especially when I asked for a small slice of all three of Grandma's homemade pies - pecan, pumpkin, and mincemeat. The blend of pies all together mixed with the fact that I wasn't overly stuffed from dinner made for an incredible cuisine moment. Ahhhhhh yum!
3. God. This is the ultimate top of my thankful list, but I am truly grateful for God. He oversees my life, directs it, loves me through it, and has an ultimate plan for me and my family that is good.
4. Family and friends. I am so grateful for every person and family who has reached out and helped us during this time of waiting for our baby. Thank you for helping us be cautious and keep baby safe during this pregnancy. I am grateful for the dinners, gifts, phone calls, cleaning help, dog help, errand help, and encouraging emails. We couldn't do this without your support; I wish I could do more than say thank you, but I don't know what it would be... so thank you!!
5. Blankets. I love a cozy blanket. I am surrounded by them on my sofa. Something about cuddling with a cozy blanket is amazing!
6. Family, part 2. Erik and I are blessed with wonderful immediate and extended families. From parents to grandparents to siblings and nieces to aunts, uncles, and cousins, we have an amazing family and I am blessed by each one of them.

Hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving! 

quick update!

Hi everyone!

I've started blog drafts and thought about writing many times over the past weeks/days, but obviously, I've been quiet on here for a while.

Just thought I'd check in and let you know that everything is going aok. :-) Baby is healthy and I'm still on bedrest so baby can stay healthy in me and not come early. Erik, my family, and friends have all been amazing as they help take care of me when I'm off my feet.

Slowly but surely I'm pulling together baby registry stuff and realizing how much stuff you need to take care of a kiddo! Yikes!

Yesterday, we celebrated my brother Brian's two year anniversary in heaven. Amazing how time flies. Erik and I visited Brody and Brian at the cemetery, and it was peaceful and beautiful. A nice bittersweet moment... we actually both thought the same thing at the same time while there: "It's still kinda surreal." And that it is. Hard to imagine that Brian went through what he went through and he's not here anymore, and that we and Brody went through what we went through. Definitely wish it could be different, but since it isn't, we do our best to keep moving on.

I'm SO grateful that I know I'll see them again in heaven. I can't imagine dealing with grief without that hope of eternity and seeing them again. (If you don't have hope of eternity, visit www.needhim.com.)

Anyway, thanks for reading my blog. I'm amazed by all the page views and hope that somehow my ramblings and life stories encourage you in your own journey.

Hugs.

Laura

16 weeks and counting

Hi there! I am 16 weeks today, praise God! :-)

I just went on a message board for preggo moms and it is amazing how many other moms and families have lost babies like Erik and I did, with potentially the same reason. Crazy! I guess until something affects you, you really don't hear about it happening to other people (unless it makes national news)!

Overall, my light activity mode is going pretty well. It's still difficult to have restrictions and not be able to just up and go anywhere without thinking of the repercussions or how much other activity I've had recently, but as my mom-in-law told me, I'm taking care of the most important job by laying on the couch - taking care of baby. Fun fun... !

The next few days will have a little more activity than normal because my wonderful Grandma Doris passed away. One of my most favorite people on earth! She was 89 and lived a good life; her health wasn't the best recently, so I'm glad that she's safe in heaven taking care of my family up there. It still stinks that I won't be able to see her beautiful face and smile until heaven. Tomorrow is the wake and Wednesday is the funeral. It stinks having so many family funerals within such a short period of time! But it makes me grateful that I don't have a story where I lose multiple family members at once!! I know things could be much worse!!!

Things are starting to pick up mentally for me because I'm finally looking a little preggo and I have 5 weeks left until I'm in the uncharted waters of pregnancy for me. So time has been ticking slowly but surely. Overall, I don't feel too nervous about the 20th/21st week (when Brody passed); my doc has been amazing in reassuring me that she's confident I'll have a healthy baby in January. I have a check-up later this week, which I'm looking forward to hearing that everything is good. Week 23 is when baby is officially "viable" (if anything happens, the baby could go to the neonatal care unit). Brody was 2 weeks short of being able to have that happen. :( So that will be another point that I'll be glad to check off the list. And, no, I'm not planning on anything bad happening or needing the baby to go in the neonatal unit! They are just timelines I can check off mentally -- as opposed to counting the hundreds of days until January!!!

So overall, I'm doing pretty well. I feel like my body is doing aok; no major concerns regarding the pregnancy. Again, it will be nice to go to the doc and get her official confirmation the past three weeks have gone the way I thought they have!

I've started to actually picture having a baby. Yay!

winter's reason

Patience stinks.

:-) 

Why do we have to be patient? Couldn't we always get what we want when we want it? Like the weather. Does it have to rain when we want to be outside? Couldn't it always be 76.5 degrees with beautiful sun and a small breeze? Do we really need to have winter? The ice storms and blizzards could just go away.... 

Recently, Erik has been singing a line from a country song he likes: "...winter has a reason; otherwise, there'd be no spring." That has made me smile every time I hear it because it reminds me that the "winter" of life that Erik and I have been through has to come to an end (I believe in January or earlier!), and the winter really is what makes way for spring to happen! I love the beauty of spring and the renewal in the air. That wouldn't happen without winter. 

Speaking of seasons, it's August 1. Doesn't summer always go by so fast? I know that this year I'm okay with it going faster since I'm in a waiting period, but I know once August hits, the rest of the year flies by with back-to-school, football season, Halloween (I don't celebrate, but I see stores' decor), Thanksgiving, and Christmas. When I look at it that way, January will be here before I know it! 

Romans 5:3-5

"...and not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us."

bedrest boredom

A little over two weeks of bedrest/"limited activity" and the days have ticked by so slowly. Argh! I am trying to keep myself as busy as possible... from the sofa. I enjoyed a morning off thinking about not much this morning, but by midafternoon, my brain--which has to be accomplishing something as much of the time as possible--almost had a meltdown.

So I put in the movie Julie & Julia. For a writer like myself, I can relate to both Julia's adventure of writing a book (although hers was a cookbook) and Julie's adventure of blogging. Plus, I love their love of cooking and it made me just a little sad that I can't just bustle around the kitchen right now making these fabulous recipes.

It did inspire to make an omelet for dinner. My omelets, I must admit, have been less than stellar in the past. Slowly, but surely, Food Network and Erik and my interest in cooking has caused me to keep trying and improving omelets. Today's actually turned out decent, although I still haven't figured out how they keep the eggs looking so flat and nice in the pan while cooking it.

I've also improved at making eggs over easy... they used to become scrambled eggs, more or less, but my last three for Erik were practically perfect.

I know... way boring information, but hey! I gotta do something to amuse myself waiting for baby! :-) You just happen to be a recipient of my thoughts while I do so.

Oh and I guess the biggest "news" of all is I decided to give myself an extra reason to stay off my feet... I bruised my toe. Okay, the reasoning isn't true, but the bruised toe is. I'm what some may call clumsy when it comes to keeping my toes out of the ways of doors and bed frames, and yesterday, I got out of bed and slammed a toe into the bed. Whoops! No major harm done. Just a different colored toe.

Exciting life, huh? :-)


**I should clarify that although the title says "bedrest boredom," I am not officially on bedrest anymore, which I noted in a previous post. I'm on the "limited activity" schedule, but I'm still on the sofa resting quite a lot. Plus "bedrest boredom" is a much cooler sounding title than "limited activity boredom."  :-)

handicapped

So I'm getting a new perspective on life with my assignment of limited activity. Last night I was at church and based on how I was feeling, I decided it would be better to sit down during praise and worship so I would be off my feet, just as a precaution. That decision was mentally humbling for me because everyone else was standing around me and I was supposed to be standing. I imagined people were looking at me thinking, Why is she sitting down? What's wrong with her? Doesn't she know she's disrespecting God?

Tonight I'm going to a musical with my mom at my alma mater and we're bringing a wheelchair so I don't have to walk the distance between the car and the theater, which is a decent length. Since you can't really see a preggo belly yet, it will be humbling to be in the wheelchair because my mind will tell me people will wonder what's wrong with me.

Even just in my day-to-day tasks, I feel lazy not doing certain things, and I assume because I've had the thought I'm lazy to avoid certain activities that are precautionary for my situation, I assume others are thinking the same thing. (funny how that works!)

In reality, I have to just be humbled to accept people's help, not care about what people think, and do what's best for the baby.

Yes, some people may think I'm lazy, but they don't know the story behind why I'm doing what I do. Plus, in reality, most people are probably too concerned with their own lives to even think much about the rather healthy-looking lady sitting during praise and worship or coming in on a wheelchair!