then vs. now

I feel like at least 10 other ladies are pregnant right now. No, maybe it's closer to 20! Part of me thinks 20 is an exaggeration, but the other part says, "No, you could be right!"

Well, I happen to be at the age and time period where I know a lot of people having babies!!! It's really not that easy watching other people go through pregnancy -- and if you are one of the other people going through pregnancy, IT'S OKAY!!!! :-) (That's me emphasizing it for good measure!) I'm really excited for you. I just have a little ache inside where I wish I was still in a similar place as you.

Okay, the reason I said all that wasn't to conjure up any sympathy or tears... I'm at a point where part of me  can't imagine having a kid right now because I am so busy! I can't even think about what would happen with a kid and/or a preggo belly! 

I told my best girlfriend this and she said, "If you were pregnant, life would be different. You wouldn't be as busy. You are busy, though, because God knew you needed something to keep you moving so you wouldn't sit and mope."

Okay, I'm not quoting her exactly, but you get the idea. That helped me a lot. I have had questions like, Did God take Brody early because He needed me to do what I'm doing now and I couldn't do it with Brody here? No, He didn't! Since Brody went to Jesus early and since I was planning on being busy during the winter with pregnancy things, God gave me a new plan for the winter to stay busy with other things that weren't pregnancy related.

If Brody was still in my tummy, the things I am taking care of right now would (a.) not be necessary or (b.) be getting done by someone else.

God is the Master Architect. I don't always understand what that looks like or what that means, but He takes care of me and I do my best to continue to trust His plan and His hand working in my life and the lives around me. Although I'm a little nervous for it, I am super excited for the day when I'll be preggo again, but until then, I'll follow God's plan for me right now. He's paved a path for me that is good and I will walk in it.