brody's due date

Today was Brody's due date. April 2, 2011.

I woke up this morning and didn't know what to feel. Kinda that overwhelmed, zombie feeling I had right after Brody passed away and even after Brian passed away. The feeling where you just want to keep moving and make it through today. You just don't know what to think or do or say. And that's okay. (Today hasn't been half as intense in the "zombie feeling" as this past fall, so I appreciate that.)

A lot has been running through my head as I process today. I'm doing relatively well thinking about Brody. A little sad, but okay. I have had a little over four months to get used to this new future of him being in heaven so that does help. I do miss him a lot though.

I think that's all I'll write for now. Just wanted to give Brody a shout-out. Oh and my parents and Erik and I are celebrating him with a night out on the town tonight. I've been really looking forward to it, which helps.

By the way, I am happy and maybe even a little relieved to be through the "I should be pregnant right now" stage.

Hugs and love. I'm sure I"ll write plenty more later to make up for the short entry today. :-)