The first 2-3 nights with Brayden were overwhelming for me and Erik, to say the least. So to future parents, here's something I think may help you so if/when you have a kid, you'll know you are not alone.
1. In the first night, day, two, or both, you will question your sanity in thinking a child was a good thing.
2. You may even question God's sanity in bringing babies to children without an instruction manual... and letting sleep-deprived parents make decisions for someone else's life. (I will never forget that moment in the hospital when I had a talk with God about this.)
3. Your marriage will be tested. Wives - whether or not you like it, your life will be full on mother for a while, since you are needed for feedings, especially if you are nursing. Husbands - your wife will not be your own for a while. You'll need to share. (Sorry!) From all that I can tell, this is a season because they tell me babies do wind up sleeping through the night and stop eating every 2-4 hours. That means more time to be both a mom and a wife and not just a mom.
4. You will not think straight. Overall, I've got my head screwed on pretty straight. I know what's happening around me and how people respond to me and think clearly, etc. Then I had Brayden, and seriously, I couldn't think straight or remember or say things quite right. I looked over at Erik one time riding back to the house and said, "I'm not making sense, am I?" He said, "Nope." Oh well.
5. Sleep. You will miss it. But there is grace for this season. Of all people, I need sleep more than most. If you know me well, you know I don't function well on lack of sleep. So this is a tough one, but I've had moments where I've literally felt the grace to wake up every 2-4 hours and feed him and I adore two hours straight of sleep and consider that an amazing thing (when just a couple weeks ago that would have been barely enough!).
6. You will be frustrated. This is common when it's 4 a.m., you've changed your baby's diaper, fed them, made sure he's warm enough, and done everything you know to do, and he's still red in the face from screaming, trying to get some type of point across. I don't really know how to answer "what to do" on this yet, since I'm still learning, but take a deep breath and/or cry out for help from the Lord! Hold your baby and trust that as parents you have the grace and wisdom to comfort your baby as needed.
So, new parents and parents-to-be, if you've had any of these thoughts or frustrations, you are not alone. A bunch of parents I've talked to smile when I tell them my experiences and feelings and then they remember they too had the "What have I done?!" moment with their first babies... you just don't always hear about it.
You're not alone; pretty much everyone has probably had the same types of thoughts as you. Remember, this too shall pass. :-)
As for us, we are getting slowly adjusted to life with a baby. Our family and friends continue to be amazing to us. (Thank you!) And we are once again reminded of the value of community. Community is how the moms and dads survived who didn't have nurses to ask questions to. Community is how parents survived who couldn't read or watch YouTube videos or read other people's blogs. So I'm learning again to learn from others because they've been there and done that and have great ideas that will help make my life easier.
2. You may even question God's sanity in bringing babies to children without an instruction manual... and letting sleep-deprived parents make decisions for someone else's life. (I will never forget that moment in the hospital when I had a talk with God about this.)
3. Your marriage will be tested. Wives - whether or not you like it, your life will be full on mother for a while, since you are needed for feedings, especially if you are nursing. Husbands - your wife will not be your own for a while. You'll need to share. (Sorry!) From all that I can tell, this is a season because they tell me babies do wind up sleeping through the night and stop eating every 2-4 hours. That means more time to be both a mom and a wife and not just a mom.
4. You will not think straight. Overall, I've got my head screwed on pretty straight. I know what's happening around me and how people respond to me and think clearly, etc. Then I had Brayden, and seriously, I couldn't think straight or remember or say things quite right. I looked over at Erik one time riding back to the house and said, "I'm not making sense, am I?" He said, "Nope." Oh well.
5. Sleep. You will miss it. But there is grace for this season. Of all people, I need sleep more than most. If you know me well, you know I don't function well on lack of sleep. So this is a tough one, but I've had moments where I've literally felt the grace to wake up every 2-4 hours and feed him and I adore two hours straight of sleep and consider that an amazing thing (when just a couple weeks ago that would have been barely enough!).
6. You will be frustrated. This is common when it's 4 a.m., you've changed your baby's diaper, fed them, made sure he's warm enough, and done everything you know to do, and he's still red in the face from screaming, trying to get some type of point across. I don't really know how to answer "what to do" on this yet, since I'm still learning, but take a deep breath and/or cry out for help from the Lord! Hold your baby and trust that as parents you have the grace and wisdom to comfort your baby as needed.
So, new parents and parents-to-be, if you've had any of these thoughts or frustrations, you are not alone. A bunch of parents I've talked to smile when I tell them my experiences and feelings and then they remember they too had the "What have I done?!" moment with their first babies... you just don't always hear about it.
You're not alone; pretty much everyone has probably had the same types of thoughts as you. Remember, this too shall pass. :-)
As for us, we are getting slowly adjusted to life with a baby. Our family and friends continue to be amazing to us. (Thank you!) And we are once again reminded of the value of community. Community is how the moms and dads survived who didn't have nurses to ask questions to. Community is how parents survived who couldn't read or watch YouTube videos or read other people's blogs. So I'm learning again to learn from others because they've been there and done that and have great ideas that will help make my life easier.
Great post Laura! We have 17 days to go before our daughter's "due date". When she arrives I will keep in mind what I have read from your blog and will remember "I am not alone". :)
ReplyDelete- Jacqueline Kasper