Every once in a while, reality hits me that both my brother and son died within a little over a year. That stinks. That shouldn't happen. I don't dwell on that reality a lot, but sometimes it hits and I think, "Gosh, that's sad!" and have a good cry moment.
It's somewhat funny to admit, but American Idol auditions now officially make me cry because of what I've been through. It started last year or maybe the year before and I'd tear up during every contestant's back story who had cancer or lost a sibling or went through tragedy. I'm sitting there on the other side of the TV screen, willing them to go on saying, I hear ya! It's horrible.
Last night made my crying official though (previous years I just "teared up"!). We had taped this week's American Idol shows and watched them last night. We came to the last audition and it was about a girl who got pregnant at 18 and the way the story was going, I thought she was going to say she lost her baby, but instead her baby made it and she's now a mother to a special needs girl. Her story isn't exactly like mine, but I was thinking of Brody when she talked about her daughter and my tears freely flowed and I sobbed right along with J. Lo.
Funny how that works, but all of us can really relate to each other at different points in our lives. We really want the people who have gone through junk but are dealing with it well to succeed in life (and in this case, American Idol!). It's as though we're willing the girl whose father has throat cancer to sing better and we're secretly hoping the cocky guy doesn't make it.
Heh heh... that word "cocky" conjures up so many images of contestants on American Idol... most of whom you watch and think, Really? I mean, I'm glad they have self-confidence, but they definitely have a little too much confidence and someone, somewhere has inflated their ego in the wrong way and told them they can sing....
Either way, it's fun to find a gem of a person in the middle of a crowd of wannabes. I think that's why the premise of American Idol--and so many other reality shows--work.
I'm laughing now at the way this post has gone because it started off with my random bouts of sadness and grief and ended up talking about American Idol. ... Can anyone say "spaghetti" brain? :-) But hey, that's probably a good representation of how I deal with my grief. When moments of sadness come, I take them and walk through them, but ultimately, I move on, thinking about whatever else comes my way. And if I have nothing else to think about, I always go back to Psalm 23. I quote it in my brain. That, and other Scripture. So glad I have God's Word memorized so it comes out when I need it.
Funny story (at least to me!)... last night, I was having a little trouble slowing my mind down to go to sleep, so I pictured myself piping icing onto a cake, writing the letters of whatever verse I was running through my head. :-) It must have worked... I did fall asleep eventually!
Anyway... hope you all have an awesome Saturday dealing with whatever comes your way. God is your strength and can bring you to the top of any mountain you face and bring you through any valley. It might be a long road or a difficult climb, but it is possible and it is worth it.
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