Friday, May 23, 2014

life is beautiful

If I'm honest, life is pretty "go-go-go" right now... so I was pretty excited that tonight, according to my plan, the boys would be tired enough to go to bed by 7 p.m. I'd have a whole night to myself (Erik is visiting his parents). Did you catch that? A whole night to myself!

But then, I'm not sure what happened or why, but Jase would not go to sleep, no matter what I tried... and I did try! He was mostly sleeping at least three times within an hour, but then I'd lay him down and he'd cry or he'd move and cry and wake again. At that point, I was worn out and a bit bummed that my time with sleeping children was slowly disappearing. 

Instead of moping, I followed this picture I had in my head (which I attribute to the Holy Spirit's prompting) and moved my favorite glider from Brayden's room (who was thankfully sleeping) and placed it smack dab in the middle of our upstairs. I brought my computer, water bottle, cell phone, and baby boppy pillow to the floor surrounding the chair. Then I went and got Jase, settled him down for the long haul in my arms, and put my computer on my knees so I could get some work done. I put piano music on in the background, and just held him until he was clearly sleeping and wouldn't wake up. 

You know what? That hour of frustration that almost brought me to tears turned into a beautiful new hour of admiring Jase, soaking in mommy/son time, and getting my computer work done that I had initially planned to do after the boys were sleeping. 

And in that moment, I knew, life is beautiful. It has ups; it has downs. It has rain; it has sun. It has thunderstorms and it has beach days. It is a beautiful "circle of life" (pardon the Disney reference!).

Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. 

This is obviously beautiful: 

In a completely different way, this is just as beautiful:

I don't always love what life brings my way, but I do love the beauty I find in life.

Sunday, May 11, 2014

happy mom's day

I'm vividly reminded today that I am mom to three healthy boys. It's hard to believe that could be possible, but it is true, and an amazing fact. I think about Brody a lot today and wonder what exactly he looks like, what age he is in heaven, if he's growing in heaven or just automatically became a young man... I'm so excited to meet him again in heaven. It propels me forward to think about that day.

These past few years have changed my perspective of Mother's Day. I've watched my mom and experienced myself the heartache of loss moms go through around the world and it provides a whole new appreciation for motherhood and the ladies who haven't yet experienced it but would love to and those who are remembering their angel babies or children who have passed away. May God's strength and peace rest on each of you today.

I also am reminded of the beautiful legacy of mothers I am surrounded by. I am literally surrounded by beautiful moms from both Erik's side and my side of the family. I couldn't ask for better moms, grandmas, or great-grandmas.

So today, I am celebrating my boys...

...and I'm celebrating my mom, who is beautiful, loves God, loves her family, and loves people in a way I can only hope to imitate....

...and I'm celebrating my mother-in-law, who is one of the sweetest ladies I know...

...and I'm celebrating the beautiful grandmas in my life who teach me about love and commitment and living life every day....

Here's to each of you... thank you for making me who I am and teaching me by example and by word how to be a better person who loves the Lord and family above all else. Happy Mother's Day!