Tuesday, March 30, 2010

one day left

My life will change completely tomorrow.

Wow.

Tomorrow Erik goes in for heart surgery, and it's a surgery that will completely change our lives. Again... wow. I'm SO excited to see how Erik's body responds to having his heart fixed. I believe he'll actually be able to sleep for 7-8 hours straight again. He'll be able to walk up stairs as a normal person without taking a break to catch his breath. He'll be able to run with Tucker outside without his heart going into an irregular beat!

His family is coming over tonight for dinner so I need to figure out a filling recipe for our homemade ravioli (it's delicious!). I need to pack my things so I have everything I'll need for tomorrow/Thursday morning. I'm a little nervous about the unknown, and I think Erik is as well, but more than anything, we just want to walk this out!

I'm looking forward to the day when I can change my blog title. I started this when Brian was in his last days on earth. I stayed in the middle of the storm as I grieved for Brian and then watched the symptoms in Erik's body get worse. I believe God will use this surgery to completely revamp Erik's body! He and I will soon be out from the middle of the storm!!

Lord, You've been with me and my family throughout this past year. Please hold me and Erik over these next few days and help our trust in You to be deepened as we see You manifest in our lives.

It helps to write out prayers for me some times. :-) Anyhoo, I'll try to post something soon after the surgery. I will have updates on facebook as well (or at least that's the plan). It will go supernaturally well.

Okay, off to finish out my day!

Friday, March 19, 2010

me in a movie?

So I had a super interesting day yesterday. I decided to take my office mobile and go to the set of a movie filming in Minneapolis (near the MOA) and be a movie extra! I've always been interested in the "behind-the-scenes" aspect of pretty much anything related to movies, music, TV, theater... not sure why, I simply find it fascinating.

I heard about a movie that was filming with some relatively well-known actors and that they were looking for extras. I figured, hey! I've always wanted to see what a movie set looks like, so why not go? And it was a loooooooong day, but I was super glad I did it and had a bunch of fun being there. :) They prepared us for a long day of "hurry up and wait" and it was exactly that, but it was worth it to be able to go to "hair and make-up" and go to "wardrobe" (they didn't start from scratch, just improved what you already had!) and watch the production assistants run around dealing with the changes that were constantly coming from the movie set.

We (the extras) got to peek in on one scene while we were eating (it was filming down the hall from where we were) and then I was a part of the banquet scene. They warn you that you probably won't make it on camera and if you do, it may eventually get cut, so don't plan on it happening. I was probably off camera and won't be in the scene, but it was a blast to be a part of it. :)

Oh and I don't know much about the movie; it's about a guy hunting for a rare violin or something like that. The part I was in was in a hotel. Since I'm pretty careful about the movies I see, I may not even go see it when it does come out! But if I do see it, I'll be able to say, "I talked to that girl" or "I remember her!" or "He sat at my table!"

On a completely different note, Erik is going in for surgery on March 31st. It's a low-risk heart surgery called an ablation where they will go in an burn the ends of some of the veins that are going into the top of his heart. That will cause the electrical currents to stop coming through them and tripping his heart into an irregular heartbeat. It will be a morning surgery, he'll be in the hospital overnight, and recovery will happen over the next few days. It will take a couple months for his heart to fully feel the effects of the surgery, but his body will recover quickly. He'll be back to work that Monday. (the surgery is on a Wed)

Ideally, this will completely stop the irregular heartbeats he sometimes get and it will stop his stress that he'll go into an irregular heartbeat... and who knows what else it will solve! I'd appreciate prayers for Erik and I to have peace as we walk through this and hope that this will be the solution to the variety of health problems he's been facing. And if it doesn't quite naturally solve everything, that it will bite off a good chunk of them and bring Erik the hope of "a light at the end of the tunnel." It's going to be a good thing. Oh and he said I'll be posting facebook updates throughout the day on his facebook so you'll probably be hearing from me throughout the day. Especially since I'll get to wait for four plus hours as the surgery gets done... I'll have some time to do something. My parents will be there and Erik's family as well.

I "discovered" a few interesting things recently: first of all, I don't want to ever use Brian as a crutch for how I live my life-particularly as time goes on. For example, three years down the road, I don't want to be saying, "Well, I can't do that because my brother died" or "You should feel sorry for me because my brother died." I'm glad I realized that now because I can make a point to keep healing and working through the various thoughts I have regarding that.

My second thought I discovered: the biggest healing right now for me (and maybe other people in my family? I'm not sure) is learning how to trust prayer again. I know the right answer of course, but after seeing so much prayer go up for Brian and not seeing them get answered like we thought they should, it's hard to understand. I don't have the answer and I know no one does. All I can do is ask for God's help in restoring my mental trust in the whole process of prayer. I'm pretty sure my heart trust is there, but my mind is speaking pretty loudly about it. It will come, I know, but that's a hurdle right now.

For some reason, it helps to "confess" that or simply write about it. It's really a God-thing that right now the song "Healer" is playing in the background.... :-) Heh heh just a reminder that God is amazing.

Well, dinner's on the grill, Erik's figuring out stuff for the first wedding he's performing (yay!!), and Tuck is getting some shut-eye. Love and hugs~ thanks for your support. :-)

Monday, March 8, 2010

One Year Later

fHey Everyone,

I'm writing from sunny Florida today! Erik and I are celebrating our one year anniversary down here and having a wonderful time. I'm writing with the touch of sun on my cheeks after an afternoon at the beach, getting ready to go eat with my relatives whose vacation happens to coincide with ours!

Good news! My writing for a second book to contribute to got accepted! They also asked for one more, so three of my stories will be published in the book "Heavenly Humor for the Chocolate Lover's Soul." Along with that, I'm excited because I included the url to this blog in my bio, so if people are curious and like what they read, they can come find out more about me and my writings on this page. So you might see more stuff pop up on this blog as I get it ready for random people to view it!!! :-)

Oh I have more thoughts to add from my book idea Everything I Ever Needed to Know About God, I Learned From My Dog. (I need to work on shortening that title...)

Erik and I are looking forward to this new year of marriage. We're already saying, this next year will be the best one of our lives.

All for now. Hugs~