You know what fascinates me is the fact that God can take our humanity and show His divinity right in the middle of it.
Sometimes I think He shows Himself when we are still hurting... His getting glory doesn't always happen when our lives look amazing to everyone else. Sometimes He gets glory when we fall down, but don't stay down. Of course, He doesn't get glory in the fact that you fell or in what caused you to fall, but He does get glory when you decide to get back up and keep moving with Him.
I don't think we always have to be "spiritual" when God can use us. We don't need to have just been in His glory for 3 hours before He can been seen in our lives--and that amazes me. When our desire is to follow Him in our lives, He takes our daily living and somehow makes it His own. For example, someone could post a Scripture on facebook or some quote they heard, just because they thought it was cool, and later find out it's exactly what someone else needed to make their day. That's just one example of God using us in the middle of our humanity.
Because we are such fragile vessels, God gets more glory when we surrender to Him because He then gets the glory when we are weak, but people somehow see us as strong. Even if no one else knows it, we know that we can't be who we are without Him.
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Monday, October 10, 2011
how to help a grieving friend
A church acquaintance of mine just experienced a horrible tragedy this past weekend. I don't know the family well, but I know people who do who are aching for ways to help this family.
I haven't been through a sudden tragedy like this, but I have extended family who has been, and I've lost a brother and a newborn son to death way too early, so I thought I'd share some thoughts of how you can help a grieving friend.
1. Remember. Mark your calendar now and send the grieving family a card, note, email, facebook message on the anniversary of when their loved one passed away. Just last week was the 2-year anniversary of my brother's passing, and every thought, note, and bit of love that people sent my way and to my parents helped us walk through that day and be honored and blessed that people would remember him.
2. Remember, part 2. Immediately following any death, the family is thrown in a whirlwind of people sending condolences, asking if they can help, making funeral preparations (imagine wedding preparations thrown into five days or so!), talking to family members -- not to mention processing their grief. It's after the funeral where the fact that "life goes on" hits and you have to try to cope with the reality that your loved one isn't there -- this is when family and friends are needed, just as much, if not more than before. Send a bouquet of flowers a few weeks after the funeral just to say you care and are thinking of them. (I remember cherishing the flowers sent after I lost my baby boy. They made me smile because someone remembered.) Write them a note or facebook message any time you pray for them - even 3-6 months from now - and just let them know you care.
3. Pray. So many times when I was grieving, I relied on the fact that people were praying me through this. I couldn't always form prayers because my world had been rocked so hard, so knowing that people were praying for me was such a relief and an encouragement.
4. Bring meals. This is probably most important in the first few weeks and a few weeks after the funeral. If you're a good friend, perhaps you could make them a schedule using something like foodtidings.com. Or you could ask a friend if something has already been set up. It's such a relief not having to worry about dinner when you are trying to process your loss. Even a few weeks after the funeral, you could drop off a dinner or if the grieving family is interested, you could visit for a short while. Anything to help relieve the stress is helpful. Here is a good blog post on Tips for Bringing Meals to a Grieving Friend.
5. Let them grieve. The sadness and tears will come in unexpected ways over the next few weeks, months, and years. Sudden tragedies can especially take a while to heal from because they are unexpected. If the grieving family isn't acting like themselves or is a little snappy or down about life, keep an eye on them so they don't get stuck in depression, but also, give them a lot of grace. They don't even know all that they are processing. Sometimes I have to remind myself that I still am processing the grief of losing the people I've lost in my life.
6. Don't try to have answers. This blog states it well. Please read it - because people, especially Christians, often try to make it better by saying "God's in control" or "it'll be all right" or some other cliche. Those answers do not help. Often they just drag up a ton more questions in the grieving person. It's okay to not know what to say and just be quiet or to be honest and say, "I wish I had the right words, but I don't." Give hugs. Write notes to say you are praying for them and thinking of them. It's okay to not have the answers - we're human, and the best we can do is be there, help where needed, and listen.
There are a lot of other things you can do help a grieving friend, but hopefully this gives you a good start. It's some of what really helped me in what I have been going through. Ask God for His help and wisdom in how you can bless, encourage, and most importantly, support your friend, and He will.
John 14:27, "Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid."
I haven't been through a sudden tragedy like this, but I have extended family who has been, and I've lost a brother and a newborn son to death way too early, so I thought I'd share some thoughts of how you can help a grieving friend.
1. Remember. Mark your calendar now and send the grieving family a card, note, email, facebook message on the anniversary of when their loved one passed away. Just last week was the 2-year anniversary of my brother's passing, and every thought, note, and bit of love that people sent my way and to my parents helped us walk through that day and be honored and blessed that people would remember him.
2. Remember, part 2. Immediately following any death, the family is thrown in a whirlwind of people sending condolences, asking if they can help, making funeral preparations (imagine wedding preparations thrown into five days or so!), talking to family members -- not to mention processing their grief. It's after the funeral where the fact that "life goes on" hits and you have to try to cope with the reality that your loved one isn't there -- this is when family and friends are needed, just as much, if not more than before. Send a bouquet of flowers a few weeks after the funeral just to say you care and are thinking of them. (I remember cherishing the flowers sent after I lost my baby boy. They made me smile because someone remembered.) Write them a note or facebook message any time you pray for them - even 3-6 months from now - and just let them know you care.
3. Pray. So many times when I was grieving, I relied on the fact that people were praying me through this. I couldn't always form prayers because my world had been rocked so hard, so knowing that people were praying for me was such a relief and an encouragement.
4. Bring meals. This is probably most important in the first few weeks and a few weeks after the funeral. If you're a good friend, perhaps you could make them a schedule using something like foodtidings.com. Or you could ask a friend if something has already been set up. It's such a relief not having to worry about dinner when you are trying to process your loss. Even a few weeks after the funeral, you could drop off a dinner or if the grieving family is interested, you could visit for a short while. Anything to help relieve the stress is helpful. Here is a good blog post on Tips for Bringing Meals to a Grieving Friend.
5. Let them grieve. The sadness and tears will come in unexpected ways over the next few weeks, months, and years. Sudden tragedies can especially take a while to heal from because they are unexpected. If the grieving family isn't acting like themselves or is a little snappy or down about life, keep an eye on them so they don't get stuck in depression, but also, give them a lot of grace. They don't even know all that they are processing. Sometimes I have to remind myself that I still am processing the grief of losing the people I've lost in my life.
6. Don't try to have answers. This blog states it well. Please read it - because people, especially Christians, often try to make it better by saying "God's in control" or "it'll be all right" or some other cliche. Those answers do not help. Often they just drag up a ton more questions in the grieving person. It's okay to not know what to say and just be quiet or to be honest and say, "I wish I had the right words, but I don't." Give hugs. Write notes to say you are praying for them and thinking of them. It's okay to not have the answers - we're human, and the best we can do is be there, help where needed, and listen.
There are a lot of other things you can do help a grieving friend, but hopefully this gives you a good start. It's some of what really helped me in what I have been going through. Ask God for His help and wisdom in how you can bless, encourage, and most importantly, support your friend, and He will.
John 14:27, "Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid."
forgive and forget
I've been thinking a lot about forgiveness recently, partially because Pastor Mac Hammond has talked about it in his recent messages (great messages, too!) and partially because I've recognized some areas where I need to forgive.
One of the things forgiveness means that I think we often ignore or don't realize is that when you forgive, you should forget. Pastor Mac often follows that statement with statements like this: "When I say 'forget,' I don't mean that you get Holy Ghost amnesia. When you forget, it actually means that you 'put out of mind.'"
So I've contemplated that and realized that when I am offended or hurt by someone else, my tendency is to overthink why I've been hurt. I'll say, "I forgive them" and really do mean it. But then I think about it a lot. And I always have a good reason to try to decipher what I'm going through and why I feel the way I feel and it will always make sense why I need to replay in my head everything that I need to forgive that person for. The Lord doesn't want me to keep replaying their mistakes. He wants me to forgive them, and then move on.
This morning, I looked up the word "forgive" on blueletterbible.com and it gives the idea that when you forgive, you walk away from it and leave it behind you. That means not going back to it because you have to try to figure out exactly everything that offended you. Not overthinking it because it's part of your "personality" and you need to make sure that you don't miss anything. (guilty as charged!) None of that will help you forgive. It will just make you frustrated all over again.
What we really need to do when we forgive someone is forget it. Put it out of mind... over and over and over. Day in, day out.
To clarify, I'm not talking about an abusive situation where someone is taking advantage of you physically or emotionally. I'm talking about those instances that happen altogether too often among church members, family, and friends where you get offended because they don't celebrate Labor Day like you do or they looked at you the wrong way or they did something else that frustrated you. Those types of things are things that we should leave behind us.
Lord, I've messed up time and again by reasoning my way into not forgetting the things people have done for me. Please help me truly forgive and walk away from whatever frustrations come from other people in my life. In Jesus' name, Amen.
One of the things forgiveness means that I think we often ignore or don't realize is that when you forgive, you should forget. Pastor Mac often follows that statement with statements like this: "When I say 'forget,' I don't mean that you get Holy Ghost amnesia. When you forget, it actually means that you 'put out of mind.'"
So I've contemplated that and realized that when I am offended or hurt by someone else, my tendency is to overthink why I've been hurt. I'll say, "I forgive them" and really do mean it. But then I think about it a lot. And I always have a good reason to try to decipher what I'm going through and why I feel the way I feel and it will always make sense why I need to replay in my head everything that I need to forgive that person for. The Lord doesn't want me to keep replaying their mistakes. He wants me to forgive them, and then move on.
What we really need to do when we forgive someone is forget it. Put it out of mind... over and over and over. Day in, day out.
To clarify, I'm not talking about an abusive situation where someone is taking advantage of you physically or emotionally. I'm talking about those instances that happen altogether too often among church members, family, and friends where you get offended because they don't celebrate Labor Day like you do or they looked at you the wrong way or they did something else that frustrated you. Those types of things are things that we should leave behind us.
Lord, I've messed up time and again by reasoning my way into not forgetting the things people have done for me. Please help me truly forgive and walk away from whatever frustrations come from other people in my life. In Jesus' name, Amen.
Thursday, October 6, 2011
quick update!
Hi everyone!
I've started blog drafts and thought about writing many times over the past weeks/days, but obviously, I've been quiet on here for a while.
Just thought I'd check in and let you know that everything is going aok. :-) Baby is healthy and I'm still on bedrest so baby can stay healthy in me and not come early. Erik, my family, and friends have all been amazing as they help take care of me when I'm off my feet.
Slowly but surely I'm pulling together baby registry stuff and realizing how much stuff you need to take care of a kiddo! Yikes!
Yesterday, we celebrated my brother Brian's two year anniversary in heaven. Amazing how time flies. Erik and I visited Brody and Brian at the cemetery, and it was peaceful and beautiful. A nice bittersweet moment... we actually both thought the same thing at the same time while there: "It's still kinda surreal." And that it is. Hard to imagine that Brian went through what he went through and he's not here anymore, and that we and Brody went through what we went through. Definitely wish it could be different, but since it isn't, we do our best to keep moving on.
I'm SO grateful that I know I'll see them again in heaven. I can't imagine dealing with grief without that hope of eternity and seeing them again. (If you don't have hope of eternity, visit www.needhim.com.)
Anyway, thanks for reading my blog. I'm amazed by all the page views and hope that somehow my ramblings and life stories encourage you in your own journey.
Hugs.
Laura
I've started blog drafts and thought about writing many times over the past weeks/days, but obviously, I've been quiet on here for a while.
Just thought I'd check in and let you know that everything is going aok. :-) Baby is healthy and I'm still on bedrest so baby can stay healthy in me and not come early. Erik, my family, and friends have all been amazing as they help take care of me when I'm off my feet.
Slowly but surely I'm pulling together baby registry stuff and realizing how much stuff you need to take care of a kiddo! Yikes!
Yesterday, we celebrated my brother Brian's two year anniversary in heaven. Amazing how time flies. Erik and I visited Brody and Brian at the cemetery, and it was peaceful and beautiful. A nice bittersweet moment... we actually both thought the same thing at the same time while there: "It's still kinda surreal." And that it is. Hard to imagine that Brian went through what he went through and he's not here anymore, and that we and Brody went through what we went through. Definitely wish it could be different, but since it isn't, we do our best to keep moving on.
I'm SO grateful that I know I'll see them again in heaven. I can't imagine dealing with grief without that hope of eternity and seeing them again. (If you don't have hope of eternity, visit www.needhim.com.)
Anyway, thanks for reading my blog. I'm amazed by all the page views and hope that somehow my ramblings and life stories encourage you in your own journey.
Hugs.
Laura
Monday, September 12, 2011
feathers from heaven
So I just finished reading a good Christian fiction book. In it, the heroine finds these white feathers that show up on her desk, the floor, and a few other places when she's had a moment with God. The author uses those feathers as a symbol for the heroine to know that heaven is with her.
Now, it's definitely a fiction ploy to use the feathers throughout the book. It ties the book together nicely, plus the picture of feathers ties in to another crucial part of the story. People certainly don't get feathers sent from heaven on a regularly basis, but I do think the feathers are a great representation of the fact that God gives us natural signs of His presence all the time in unique ways. We each have "feathers" sent from heaven. The question is, are you sensitive enough to see them?
A great example happened to me a few weeks ago. I woke up in the morning and thought to myself, "Goodness, I deserve a lunch out. I think I'll go to Panera and eat some of my favorite soup." So I did. I got to the register, ordered my soup, pulled out my Panera rewards card and my credit card to pay. The cashier swiped my rewards card and said, "Oh, you have a free soup on here." I said, "Really? That's great!" I stuck my credit card back in my wallet, and went to enjoy my free lunch.
I'm sure some will read that and think, "Oh, that was just a coincidence." Yeah, I guess you could think that, but for me, it was a feather from heaven--a blessing direct from the Lord just to say He loves me and is watching over me.
This morning I found a story about people who didn't recognize God's blessing from heaven. In Matthew 8:28-34, Jesus goes to this region and heals two men who were possessed by demons.
28 When he arrived at the other side in the region of the Gadarenes, two demon-possessed men coming from the tombs met him. They were so violent that no one could pass that way. 29 “What do you want with us, Son of God?” they shouted. “Have you come here to torture us before the appointed time?” 30 Some distance from them a large herd of pigs was feeding. 31 The demons begged Jesus, “If you drive us out, send us into the herd of pigs.”
32 He said to them, “Go!” So they came out and went into the pigs, and the whole herd rushed down the steep bank into the lake and died in the water. 33 Those tending the pigs ran off, went into the town and reported all this, including what had happened to the demon-possessed men. 34 Then the whole town went out to meet Jesus. And when they saw him, they pleaded with him to leave their region.
What fascinates me about this story is that the people went to meet Jesus and instead of bringing the sick and lame and asking for healing just as He healed the two crazy men, they asked Jesus to leave the region. They didn't appreciate the way Jesus acted, so they despised and ignored the gift in their midst. A mini-revival could have taken place because of the healings that Jesus had just done, but because of their attitude, it couldn't happen.
The Pharisees are another example of people who shunned Jesus. They couldn't see the gift of God in their midst, and as a result, they were stuck with their lives as they were and couldn't experience the freedom and potential healing that Jesus could have brought into their lives.
All this to say, I think God is showing up in our lives time and again. He brings us people who encourage us, sales to help our finances, doctors who help us, smiles from friends, cookies when we need them (heh heh... I do think that's true!). He's constantly moving on our behalf. The question is, are we noticing His touch in our lives or just chalking it up to coincidence?
So yeah, that's my thought for today. :-)
Now, it's definitely a fiction ploy to use the feathers throughout the book. It ties the book together nicely, plus the picture of feathers ties in to another crucial part of the story. People certainly don't get feathers sent from heaven on a regularly basis, but I do think the feathers are a great representation of the fact that God gives us natural signs of His presence all the time in unique ways. We each have "feathers" sent from heaven. The question is, are you sensitive enough to see them?
A great example happened to me a few weeks ago. I woke up in the morning and thought to myself, "Goodness, I deserve a lunch out. I think I'll go to Panera and eat some of my favorite soup." So I did. I got to the register, ordered my soup, pulled out my Panera rewards card and my credit card to pay. The cashier swiped my rewards card and said, "Oh, you have a free soup on here." I said, "Really? That's great!" I stuck my credit card back in my wallet, and went to enjoy my free lunch.
I'm sure some will read that and think, "Oh, that was just a coincidence." Yeah, I guess you could think that, but for me, it was a feather from heaven--a blessing direct from the Lord just to say He loves me and is watching over me.
This morning I found a story about people who didn't recognize God's blessing from heaven. In Matthew 8:28-34, Jesus goes to this region and heals two men who were possessed by demons.
28 When he arrived at the other side in the region of the Gadarenes, two demon-possessed men coming from the tombs met him. They were so violent that no one could pass that way. 29 “What do you want with us, Son of God?” they shouted. “Have you come here to torture us before the appointed time?” 30 Some distance from them a large herd of pigs was feeding. 31 The demons begged Jesus, “If you drive us out, send us into the herd of pigs.”
32 He said to them, “Go!” So they came out and went into the pigs, and the whole herd rushed down the steep bank into the lake and died in the water. 33 Those tending the pigs ran off, went into the town and reported all this, including what had happened to the demon-possessed men. 34 Then the whole town went out to meet Jesus. And when they saw him, they pleaded with him to leave their region.
What fascinates me about this story is that the people went to meet Jesus and instead of bringing the sick and lame and asking for healing just as He healed the two crazy men, they asked Jesus to leave the region. They didn't appreciate the way Jesus acted, so they despised and ignored the gift in their midst. A mini-revival could have taken place because of the healings that Jesus had just done, but because of their attitude, it couldn't happen.
The Pharisees are another example of people who shunned Jesus. They couldn't see the gift of God in their midst, and as a result, they were stuck with their lives as they were and couldn't experience the freedom and potential healing that Jesus could have brought into their lives.
All this to say, I think God is showing up in our lives time and again. He brings us people who encourage us, sales to help our finances, doctors who help us, smiles from friends, cookies when we need them (heh heh... I do think that's true!). He's constantly moving on our behalf. The question is, are we noticing His touch in our lives or just chalking it up to coincidence?
So yeah, that's my thought for today. :-)
Sunday, September 11, 2011
My two sons... Brody and Brayden
Hi everyone!
This past Wednesday was the day I've been waiting for! My pregnancy has officially gone longer than when my water broke last time. Thank you, Lord! Secondly, we had our 20-week ultrasound and saw baby and everything is looking very healthy for him and for me! Yep, it's a boy! :-)
It's true, both Erik and I wanted another boy. Erik is a big brother with a younger sister and I have a big brother and am the younger sister. We both love our family situations, and really wanted to start out the same way. So Brody Mark Wegener, our firstborn, officially has a little brother named Brayden Allen Wegener. Yippee!
I'm a little behind on posting baby bump pics so here are a couple. This was the beginning of the bump, week 13.
The second is me at 19 weeks. I'm almost 21 weeks, so I'll try to get another pic up soon. I'm starting to be amazed at what will happen to my tummy over the next four months... can it really get that big? Obviously, I've seen it happen over and over to others, but to have your tummy stretch this way is completely different!
Brayden is a mover and shaker - flipping and turning and being active in there. That makes it extra fun. Erik got to feel him move a few weeks ago, so that was a huge blessing for both of us!
I definitely still have some mental battles to deal with when these random pregnancy aches come and go... I'm learning to trust my God-given motherly intuition, which I'm sure includes His direct leading as well, about what I feel so I don't fear what I'm going through, but I also am not foolish if something should be a concern. I trust God that everything will go smoothly from now until weeks 36-40, which is when baby can officially come. Yay!
Oh and at my family birthday party (which included birthday celebrations for me, Erik, my cousin, and my aunt!) Erik and I really wanted my aunt to taste our white amaretto cake and frosting that we did for his grandma's birthday so we decided to make our own birthday cake! Since we had four birthday people, we went a different route for decorations, thanks to an idea from Food Network magazine.
Here's our "hamburger" cake!
The "tomatoes," "lettuce," and "onion rings" are spice drops that I rolled out and reformed. The cheese is fondant. The sesame seeds are rice puffy cereal. The bun and burger are cake and the burger has chopped up chocolate and small chocolate chips around it for color.
:-) It was a huge hit.
By the way, today I remember along with our country 9/11/01. God, please surround our country. Wrap your arms around every family directly affected by that horrific day and protect our country continually. In Jesus' name, Amen.
This past Wednesday was the day I've been waiting for! My pregnancy has officially gone longer than when my water broke last time. Thank you, Lord! Secondly, we had our 20-week ultrasound and saw baby and everything is looking very healthy for him and for me! Yep, it's a boy! :-)
It's true, both Erik and I wanted another boy. Erik is a big brother with a younger sister and I have a big brother and am the younger sister. We both love our family situations, and really wanted to start out the same way. So Brody Mark Wegener, our firstborn, officially has a little brother named Brayden Allen Wegener. Yippee!
I'm a little behind on posting baby bump pics so here are a couple. This was the beginning of the bump, week 13.
Brayden is a mover and shaker - flipping and turning and being active in there. That makes it extra fun. Erik got to feel him move a few weeks ago, so that was a huge blessing for both of us!
I definitely still have some mental battles to deal with when these random pregnancy aches come and go... I'm learning to trust my God-given motherly intuition, which I'm sure includes His direct leading as well, about what I feel so I don't fear what I'm going through, but I also am not foolish if something should be a concern. I trust God that everything will go smoothly from now until weeks 36-40, which is when baby can officially come. Yay!
Oh and at my family birthday party (which included birthday celebrations for me, Erik, my cousin, and my aunt!) Erik and I really wanted my aunt to taste our white amaretto cake and frosting that we did for his grandma's birthday so we decided to make our own birthday cake! Since we had four birthday people, we went a different route for decorations, thanks to an idea from Food Network magazine.
Here's our "hamburger" cake!
The "tomatoes," "lettuce," and "onion rings" are spice drops that I rolled out and reformed. The cheese is fondant. The sesame seeds are rice puffy cereal. The bun and burger are cake and the burger has chopped up chocolate and small chocolate chips around it for color.
:-) It was a huge hit.
By the way, today I remember along with our country 9/11/01. God, please surround our country. Wrap your arms around every family directly affected by that horrific day and protect our country continually. In Jesus' name, Amen.
Saturday, September 3, 2011
right now... time=molasses
I can't tell you how crazy slow this time of waiting is going. Yes, parts of it are going quickly; I know I'll already be 20 weeks along on Monday, but especially over the past three weeks or so, the days seem to drip by like the molasses I pour into my dad's favorite gingerless ginger cookies. I'm counting the moments until Wednesday: our ultrasound and the day I'll officially be farther in my pregnancy than last time.
I'm not sure if you've ever experienced something like that, but I thought I'd write about it in case you did. The only other time I can think that time went this slow was in my sophomore year of high school. For some reason, that year poked along like none other--and I still remember how slow it went to this day!
The good news is that time does and will keep going. And in the future, I guarantee I'll be thinking, wow, can you believe time has flown this fast?
That's all. Just wanted to say that.
Oh and I'm super excited to write my post on Wednesday or Thursday and let you know!!
I'm not sure if you've ever experienced something like that, but I thought I'd write about it in case you did. The only other time I can think that time went this slow was in my sophomore year of high school. For some reason, that year poked along like none other--and I still remember how slow it went to this day!
The good news is that time does and will keep going. And in the future, I guarantee I'll be thinking, wow, can you believe time has flown this fast?
That's all. Just wanted to say that.
Oh and I'm super excited to write my post on Wednesday or Thursday and let you know!!
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