I'm working, but I have so many thoughts running through my head, I thought I'd take a moment to write them out.
Overall, last week was a rough week. It went really well given the circumstances, but I can tell from the stress my body had throughout the week that it wasn't easy as we remembered Brian's passing last Tuesday. Erik and I visited his grave on Wednesday and were very blessed to see how gorgeous the cemetery is with the fall leaves and how beautiful Brian's marker is. It was a really special moment to be there.
Of course, having the story-oriented mind that I do, I knew we were racing against the clock due to heavy traffic on our way over there. The cemetery closed at 7 p.m. My mind was imagining all the funny (and not-so-funny) stories that would come if we got locked in the cemetery overnight! Okay, sounds funny and slightly morbid, but it brought me a smile in a sad time.
It was really special when we got there because after Erik encouraged me to talk to Brian a bit, Erik said, "Well, aren't you going to tell him?" It took me a minute. Then I realized that I needed to tell him he was going to be an uncle! I knew he already knew, but it was a special moment to tell him in person. I really wish my kids could have met Brian, but we have lots of good stories to tell about him and how wonderful he was, and I know our kids will have lots of people surrounding them who will tell stories too.
When I think about being sad that Brian's not here for my kids, I'm simply grateful he was here to meet Erik and see me get married. Personally, I don't think he would have left if he didn't know for sure I was taken care of. Of course, I wish Erik could have known him better and when he wasn't as sick, but I'm grateful they met and spent some time together.
Making it through last week has definitely lessened my stress levels/emotions... which is good because I have a baby in me to take care of!
On a lighter topic, I bought bedding for our nursery recently! I absolutely love it. And no, it's not blue or pink. We'll find out what we're having in a few weeks. It's pale green and yellow with hints of pinks/purples/blues/oranges and a jungle theme. A shout out to my mom-in-law and sis-in-law who accidentally got our baby similar looking pale yellow giraffes (stuffed animals)... that started the whole jungle theme idea! Excited to put it up, but until it's a little closer, my wonderful mother has it stashed away in my old bedroom (the grandkids room).
Odd... my brain is racing between making time for God, planning dinners and lunches, baby showers, daily schedules, a baby coming, and Christmas lists! Yikes! :-)
Thank you for all the love you've poured out on me and my family throughout this past week. It was overwhelming and very helpful and supportive. I appreciate you, my support system, more than you may know!