life can change in a second

Hi everyone!

Apparently I've been really quiet on my blog for a while, but I have a feeling I'll be blogging a lot more, because I am almost 21 weeks pregnant and now on bedrest. The short story is that last Monday morning, I woke up to go to the bathroom as normal, and my water broke. Erik quickly called 911 and the police and ambulance were at my quiet little neighborhood making a ruckus in just a few minutes. On a side note, Tucker was so excited to see the flashing lights and have the men come into our house, and he was VERY disappointed when the men on a mission kinda shoved him away. :-)

We had our first ambulance ride, Erik in the front and me in the back. And, yes, both of us were slightly disappointed that they didn't turn on the lights and go full speed for the hospital. They stopped at stoplights and everything! Given my situation, they wanted to keep me stable and steady as opposed to jerking through traffic. I suppose if my arm was hanging halfway off my shoulder and blood was gushing everywhere, they might have used the lights!

That day at the hospital was really rough. An ultrasound showed that the baby had no amniotic fluid (it had leaked out), the baby's heartbeat was stressed, I had a small infection and/or fever (don't really remember!), and I was having small contractions. I think everyone at the hospital assumed I would go into labor.

The good news is I didn't. Brody's heartbeat calmed down and the infection/fever went away. On day 4, I was able to go home to my parents so my mom ("Nurse Martha") can take care of me. Erik is here too. It's much more relaxing at here than the hospital!!

We have a long road ahead... so if you'd like to join us in prayer, please agree with us that my body is filled with the health and life of God and Brody's has miraculous healthy development and he can stay in me a long time. Specifically, no infection in my body or Brody's, that my body would not go into labor yet, that Brody could be surrounded by extra amniotic fluid and that the fluid would stay in me.

Thank you so much for every prayer, message, phone call, etc. It helps so very much.

Love you all!

in the world but not of it

So my mind is churning again with questions surrounding the idea that we, as Christians, are supposed to be "in the world, but not of it."

Jesus said in John 17:15-16 as He prayed to His Father for his disciples, "I do not ask that You will take them out of the world, but that You will keep and protect them from the evil one. They are not of the world (worldly, belonging to the world), [just] as I am not of the world."

He continues in verses 17-19, "Sanctify them [purify, consecrate, separate them for Yourself, make them holy] by the Truth; Your Word is Truth. Just as You sent Me into the world, I also have sent them into the world. And so for their sake and on their behalf I sanctify (dedicate, consecrate) Myself, that they also may be sanctified (dedicated, consecrated, made holy) in the Truth."

We've been sent into the world, but not without Jesus taking in the time to sanctify us and dedicate us and consecrate us to Him. We've been set apart to God.

I wonder what that should look like. Erik and I have been reading about David in the Old Testament, and it sticks out to me that he is very, very human. (just read through the psalms and see all the times he asks God to crush his enemies!) Yet, he is one of the most honored Christians. God considered him a man after His own heart.

Then I was thinking about the New Testament and the stories we have as examples to live by, and we don't have a ton (especially compared to the Old Testament). What we do have is the book of Acts--which shows us the power available to believers because of the cross. We also have the Gospels and the life of Jesus, our main example.

I read through Mark chapter 11 today and one thought came to my head about Jesus: He was a bit odd (speaking purely from a human standpoint). Within this one chapter, He tells His followers to go take a colt from someone's house without asking anyone for permission, He talks to a tree and tells it to stop bearing fruit (and it listened!), and he answers someone's question with a question of his own, instead of an answer.

Jesus isn't the typical human, and I don't think that I would consider Him the typical super-spiritual person that some might think Christians should be today. He was, though, purposeful. Everything He did had a purpose, even if was the atypical way of doing things. The other thing that stuck out to me was that he was purposeful to spend time alone, praying, with His Father.

Purpose. Jesus' life was filled with it. I'd like mine to be filled with it too. Perhaps that's just one glimpse of what it means to live in the world, but not of it.

On another note, baby is doing well. We're almost a week away from finding out if the baby is a he or a she! Yahoo! We're super excited. God is good! :-)

The passing of a milestone

Hi there.

I'm working, but I have so many thoughts running through my head, I thought I'd take a moment to write them out.

Overall, last week was a rough week. It went really well given the circumstances, but I can tell from the stress my body had throughout the week that it wasn't easy as we remembered Brian's passing last Tuesday. Erik and I visited his grave on Wednesday and were very blessed to see how gorgeous the cemetery is with the fall leaves and how beautiful Brian's marker is. It was a really special moment to be there.

Of course, having the story-oriented mind that I do, I knew we were racing against the clock due to heavy traffic on our way over there. The cemetery closed at 7 p.m. My mind was imagining all the funny (and not-so-funny) stories that would come if we got locked in the cemetery overnight! Okay, sounds funny and slightly morbid, but it brought me a smile in a sad time.

It was really special when we got there because after Erik encouraged me to talk to Brian a bit, Erik said, "Well, aren't you going to tell him?" It took me a minute. Then I realized that I needed to tell him he was going to be an uncle! I knew he already knew, but it was a special moment to tell him in person. I really wish my kids could have met Brian, but we have lots of good stories to tell about him and how wonderful he was, and I know our kids will have lots of people surrounding them who will tell stories too.

When I think about being sad that Brian's not here for my kids, I'm simply grateful he was here to meet Erik and see me get married. Personally, I don't think he would have left if he didn't know for sure I was taken care of. Of course, I wish Erik could have known him better and when he wasn't as sick, but I'm grateful they met and spent some time together.

Making it through last week has definitely lessened my stress levels/emotions... which is good because I have a baby in me to take care of!

On a lighter topic, I bought bedding for our nursery recently! I absolutely love it. And no, it's not blue or pink. We'll find out what we're having in a few weeks. It's pale green and yellow with hints of pinks/purples/blues/oranges and a jungle theme. A shout out to my mom-in-law and sis-in-law who accidentally got our baby similar looking pale yellow giraffes (stuffed animals)... that started the whole jungle theme idea! Excited to put it up, but until it's a little closer, my wonderful mother has it stashed away in my old bedroom (the grandkids room).

Odd... my brain is racing between making time for God, planning dinners and lunches, baby showers, daily schedules, a baby coming, and Christmas lists! Yikes! :-)

Thank you for all the love you've poured out on me and my family throughout this past week. It was overwhelming and very helpful and supportive. I appreciate you, my support system, more than you may know!

the start of the second trimester

Happy Sunday, Everyone!

All is well today in the Wegener household. I'm resting at home while contemplating cleaning and making something homemade; Erik's out in the "wild" duck hunting - and he got 2 this morning. Yahoo!!! So excited for him. Tic Tac (that's our baby's name, thanks to my aunt - I forget if I already mentioned that!) is 14 weeks along, and has most of his/her organs developed, even though he/she is only the size of a lemon! Crazy! God made our bodies to be so cool! Tucker is hanging out somewhere, well into his 3rd or 4th nap of today.

Oh and the pic is me right now. Yep, there's a little belly pooch... another pair of regular pants "bit the dust" today. Maternity waistbands are wonderful!!! 

I love the colors fall brings and the crisp air from the breeze. Tucker was pretty mystified by the frost this morning; I smiled thinking about what he'll do when he sees snow again! (And no, I didn't necessarily smile at the thought of snow coming... I just know it will come!)

These pics are from the apple orchard my friends and I went to yesterday. Love it!

I'm thinking I'll go out and enjoy the weather right now and take Tucker on a walk.

This is the day the Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it! Yay, God! :-)

Kurt Warner, Carrie Underwood, and Christianity

Before I start my workday today, I wanted to post a blog that I was actually going to post a few days ago.

When I was in high school, I remember considering myself the "word police." If someone ever said that they weren't feeling well, I'd come back at them with "Don't say that! By the stripes of Jesus, you are healed." I didn't want them to have the "wrong confession."

I must have been really annoying.

Thankfully, the Lord pulled my pride down a LOT of notches within a few years after that and I started to realize that my convictions aren't necessarily the same as someone else, and I haven't been called to push my convictions on someone else.

Every Christian will have a different conviction than each other. Granted, there are baseline convictions - the ten commandments for example - that can't be broken. If you feel God has convicted you to murder someone, there's a problem with your theology. But on less obvious matters - for me, it's always been which movie(s) should Christians really watch - I will absolutely have different convictions than someone else. And there are reasons for that. I realize that images stay in my head a LONG time. If I watch a bloody, gory movie or some type of sexual scene, those images will replay in my head WAY longer than I'd ever want them to. I remember talking to a friend, and she said, "Oh I never remember things from movies like that." I was like, really???

People have different personalities and different ways they respond to and remember things. People also have different calls on their life and their convictions will be lived out differently.

What does that have to do with Kurt Warner and Carrie Underwood?

I admire these two people a lot. Kurt Warner is an outspoken Christian, and from I can tell, Carrie Underwood is a Christian as well. They are living Christian lives in the public eye (a very difficult place to be), and I guarantee that their lives will be lived differently than mine simply based on the place God has chosen to place them as Christians.

I went to a Carrie Underwood concert for my birthday and loved it. I went because I love her voice and I appreciate the way she sings her songs. She has some solid, good, even godly songs, even amidst the "Before He Cheats" and other not so Christian-themed songs. But when she sings the songs that talk about breaking up with a boyfriend, I can tell she doesn't have a vendetta against those people. She knows she is playing a character because of the platform she has been given. And she simply has fun singing those songs.

In the middle of her concert, she stated, Now I'm going to sing the song that truly represents my life and my career, "Jesus, Take the Wheel." You could tell that she truly gives Jesus the wheel in her life as best as she knows how. Halfway through, she broke into a rendition of "How Great Thou Art." I worshiped and felt God in that place that was probably filled with many people who didn't know Him. I saw Carrie worship God too. How cool that in the middle of all the publicity, she makes a statement for who her life follows.

I admire her.

Kurt Warner is a retired pro football player. He recently joined the cast of Dancing with the Stars and I admire him for doing so. I can see that God had called him to be a light right in the middle of darkness. I know he will stand out as a person who isn't raunchy in the middle of raunchiness. I kinda hope he wins just because God is with him!!! :-)

I really admire him for taking a leap of faith and living out his Christianity in a unique way in front of America. And when I watched the first show (yes, I watched the first show), I could see a peace and graciousness on his face that I know wasn't on others' faces. He has a different aura about him (and his family) and God will be with him during this crazy yet wonderful opportunity in his life.

He twittered this link recently: http://filesocial.com/exopq9o If you go there, you can download a document that is a letter from him explaining why he placed himself as a Christian in the middle of dancing with another beautiful woman when he has a wife and a family at home. I read through it and thinks he states it very well: We're called to be in the world, but not of it. This is his God-given opportunity to be right in the middle of the world, and take the high road and not be "of the world."

I'm excited to watch how God uses him - although I'm sure a lot of it will be behind the scenes that we can't see as the American public.

I'm bummed he's gotten criticism from Christians, but I know where they are coming from because I've been there. It's easy to think my Christianity and convictions are the right way of living and assume everyone has to agree with you, but that's not true. We all have glimpses of the truth; we're all on the same journey, growing in our relationship with God and trying to figure out God in the middle of life on earth!

I almost forgot... Pastor Mac recently addressed this in a video when someone asked about convictions (I'll post the link later if I remember!). He said, you don't need to judge by convictions. Look at the fruit. What fruit is appearing in their lives?

For Kurt and Carrie, I see fruit that is different from the society around them, even though they are right in the middle of perhaps you could say a "bad orchard." And yes, that is my thoughts - your thoughts might be completely different, and that's okay.

Kurt, Carrie, thanks for living out your Christianity in a godly way. Blessings and grace to you as God continues to help you in your journey.

mommy- and daddy-to-be

Yep, it's true. I'm a mommy-to-be and Erik's a daddy-to-be. And yes, it's also true that I can't quite wrap my head around it! I've started to think of what it will be like to have a little baby around the house when I'm working, and it's pretty exciting to think about, but for the past 16 1/2 years, I've been giving the babies back to the parents and going on with life! Now everyone who holds my baby will be giving him/her back to me at the end of the day (or whenever they cry!).

Crazy!

But Erik and I are super excited. I read somewhere recently on a blog what mothers would tell themselves before motherhood if they could go back to when they were pregnant. One was "trust your instincts." Another one was "You're going to love this." And I'm taking that motto with me. I know Erik and I are going to love being parents. I also know that all those crazy details that are flying through my head (or will soon fly through my head) are all going to be taken care of. I think of Philippians chapter 4 where it says that we don't have to worry about anything, but instead we can pray about it and then let God handle the situation. Or as Proverbs 3:5 says, "Trust God from the bottom of your heart."

Yep, as a mother-to-be and as a mother, that's what I'm going to do: look to God for the peace that passes any understanding I can have ever have and know that He'll remind of and show me all I need to know right when I need to know it.

Such a wonderful thing.

P.S. Thanks for all the wonderful wishes to me and Erik on the pregnancy! :)


----
12 weeks
current due date: 4-2-11
----

God first. Life second.

I feel like I'm finally settling down into a new rhythm of life. Part of that comes from the fact that Cristina has settled down with a new husband. Another part comes from the fact that I'm starting to renew my relationship with God.

Don't get me wrong. My relationship with God has always been there, but the time and desire I put into it has slowly been coming back, really as God has been healing my heart. I know I'm not all there yet; a lot has gone on over the past few years. It's okay to take time to heal. But I am getting there, and it's refreshing to know that.

I think in the ever-changing, ever-busy society we live in, we always have to keep rethinking how we come to God--not for His sake, but for our sake. I'm talking from a practical perspective--reading your Bible, praying, listening to podcasts. We have to strive to continually keep our personal relationship with God fresh. What can you do that will help you connect with Him throughout the day?


Here's what I mean... When I was single, talking to God and worshiping in the card was my favorite. When I started to work from home, I didn't have as much alone time in the car, and that was especially true after I got married. That means I needed to find a new time to pray and think. When Erik and I got Tucker, walking the dog suddenly became the perfect opportunity to pray and sort out my thoughts.


I think it's important for us not to miss the ever-changing nature of life.

And, no, I'm not telling you to fit God into your crazy, busy life. It's more like "how you can fit more of God into your life?" As your life changes, your answer to that will change.

Funny. Since I'm a writer, I thought a blog would be a great place to write... when it's turning out more to be a place for me to ramble. :)


And oh yeah... the look of my blog has changed because the focus of my life has changed. The storm of my brother's death has waned and I'm looking ahead to the future.